Or 1 minute and 15 seconds of horror.
If you look up ‘tea’ in the first cookery book that comes to hand you will probably find that it is unmentioned; or at most you will find a few lines of sketchy instructions which give no ruling on several of the most important points.
This is curious, not only because tea is one of the main stays of civilization in this country, as well as in Eire, Australia and New Zealand, but because the best manner of making it is the subject of violent disputes.
When I look through my own recipe for the perfect cup of tea, I find no fewer than eleven outstanding points. On perhaps two of them there would be pretty general agreement, but at least four others are acutely controversial. Here are my own eleven rules, every one of which I regard as golden:
Did you have a good holiday?
I spent the majority of my time off avoiding the internet, eating leftovers and watching The Housewives of Beverly Hills. Don’t judge! (Oh, that Camille is awful!)
Personal pics from the set of Back of the Future taken while I was a security guard at Universal Studios.
I heard Steven Spielberg snuck onto the lot in a security uniform when he was young, so I took it to the next level and got a job there. I wanted the inside track and got it, even later meeting Spielberg on the Goonies dubbing stage, but that’s another story.