Get Cynical

(Stolen shamelessly from Janey’s facebook page)

From The Telegraph:

The entire squad was forced onto a stage at the People’s Palace of Culture and subjected to criticism from Pak Myong-chol, the sports minister, as 400 government officials, students and journalists watched.

The players were subjected to a “grand debate” on July 2 because they failed in their “ideological struggle” to succeed in South Africa, Radio Free Asia and South Korean media reported.

The team’s coach, Kim Jong-hun, was reportedly forced to become a builder and has been expelled from the Workers’ Party of Korea.

The coach was punished for “betraying” Kim Jong-un – one of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il’s sons and heir apparent.

The country, in its first World Cup since 1966, lost all three group games – including a 7-0 defeat to Portugal.

The broadcast of live games had been banned to avoid national embarrassment, but after the spirited 2-1 defeat to Brazil, state television made the Portugal game its first live sports broadcast ever.

Following ideological criticism, the players were then allegedly forced to blame the coach for their defeats.

(via The World’s Best Ever)

What’s your morning ritual?

*Curse at alarm clock. Wave hand in front of it to activate motion detecting snooze (the most dangerous feature ever invented).
*Curse at alarm clock again. Turn it off and curse parents for not aborting me.
*Stumble to the kitchen and turn the coffee maker on (The night before I added the coffee grounds and water. And I could learn to set the timer but I refuse on religious grounds (which is a good answer when you haven’t thought something out). Remove Kerrygold butter from fridge to let it soften a bit and leave the kitchen while swearing as much as possible.
*Open door to my study where Cynikitty has been locked away during the night (He jumps at our door if not jailed) where he bursts out and demands to be fed despite having a full bowl of dry food for him to graze at whenever he desires.
*Ignore leaping ball of fur and claws and brush my teeth and then jump in the shower. Somewhere around this point my eyes finally open.
*Finish shower and insert contacts, hopefully in an eye. This is the dangerous part. If I drop a contact here I’ll be too blind to find it.
*Pour coffee, and feed Cynikitty his breakfast (2 soft boiled eggs, glass of oj, kippers, a NY Times and a flower) while my english muffin toasts.
*Eat breakfast while going through emails sent by people who hate me because I posted a kitten YouTube clip twice now.
*Look at time. Curse. Dress. Swear. Rinse with mouthwash. Cuss. Grab lunch. Grab backpack. Leave house. Come back for keys. Leave house. Come back for cellphone. Leave house.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

“Price Is Right” host turned heads at Wednesday’s press tour party, having lost 80 pounds since January. He told People.com: “I was sick of being fat.”

The YouTube explanation for this trick below IN ALL CAPS SO THAT YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS PERFECTLY SANE AND RATIONAL!

IN LATE 60′S I DISCOVERED I COULD BREATH UNDER WATER WITHOUT EQUIPMENT.
1-DRINK ONE BEER (MAY NOT BE REQUIRED)
2-JUMP INTO DEEP END OF POOL
3-EXHALE ALL AIR AS YOU ARE GOING DOWN
4-SIT ON FLOOR OF POOL
5-GRIT TEETH AND LIPS
6-SLOWLY SUCK AIR THRU LIPS AND TEETH.
WARNING…NOT FOR MINORS
MAYBE SOMEONE CAN FORWARD THIS TO THE NAVY SEALS AND PERHAPS AFTER THEY FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN DUPLICATE THIS CAN INVENT A MOUTHPIECE THAT ACTUALLY IS SEPARATING OUT THE AIR (HYDROGEN AND OXYGEN) FROM THE WATER ENABLING MILITARY TO BREATH UNDERWATER WITH NO TANKS ECT. SORT OF A FISH GILL FOR THE MOUTH. IT IS NOTED THE POOL ALSO CONTAINED CHLORINE ..THE POOL WAS IN HOLLYWOOD CALIF.

(via Dangerous Minds)

GT sent in a pic of his cat and cat’s dinner last Friday but I had punched out from the Cyn-C offices early. (I know, I’m a slacker)

Hi Chris,

The cat is Floofy.
The mouse is Squeege.

Have a happy Friday and a great weekend!

GT