You Can’t Please Everyone – The Scarlet Letter

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at The Scarlet Letter:

This book is like a bad soap. No action. No drama. Very predictable. It is about a woman who cheated on her husband with another man. The baby dad is the preacher. Why the couple couldn’t have gotten a divorce is beyond me.

I’m sure I would be able to understand the vivid descriptions and symbolism in this book much better, if Hawthorne were not writing in some sort of moon man language. I don’t know about the production of narcotics in the 1800′s, but I honestly think that Hawthorne wasn’t on a natural high if you know what I’m saying.

It is my invariably correct opinion that the so-called author responsible for this overly extravagant and flamboyant style of writing should be dragged into the street and summarily executed, with EXTREME prejudice, for crimes against humanity and the English language.

Throughout this entire book, one part of my brain was in a state of wonder, trying to imagine how anyone could make a book about scandal, sin, adultery, public shame and cowardice so dull. To finish the book was a test of will, and was accomplished because I hate to leave things undone.

I just thought it didn’t do a very good job of saying what it was trying to say. It was unnecessarily vague (what is the reason behind trying to confuse somebody?), wordy, high-flown and just too big. The story could have been told more effectively as a short story, even half the length. I don’t reccommend.

I’ll admit right up front that I am stupid. I would rather enjoy a book instead of try to find my way through the maze of confusing, endless prose that Hawthorne uses. I found myself empathizing more with Chillingworth than Dimmesdale. A book should NOT have to be dissected and disscussed to be understood!!!

Yes the writing is poetic…but the book says the same thing over and over. I didn’t feel like I learned anything from reading this book, the characters are rather flat and the symbols are far too obvious and there is too many of them. It’s like Hawrthorne had a contest with himself to see how many symbols he could cram in.

This is probably the most confusing and worst book I have ever read! The author uses incredibly large words and you constantly have to use a dictionary or else you most likely won’t know hat you are reading.

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, this the worst book i’ve ever read, I consider myself open to all fine lterature but I absolutely hate this book. But the writing is superb!

The pain brought on by this archaicly verbose peice of literary kindling is so great that, while reading, I was greatly tempted to gouge out my eyes to prevent any future encounters with Mr. Hawthorne’s “work”. Please, for the love of all things sacred USE CLIFFNOTES!!! It will save you from years of therapy. I am scarred for live. My soul will be tormented after death and i will be forced to walk the earth in search for reconciliation.

I would not inflict this story upon my worst enemy

Comments

2 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. luvcynicalc,

    Reminds me of my nephew (about 17 at the time) after watching the DeCaprio version of Romeo and Juliet: “I don’t get it”. He’s been raised in a world where there is no unrequited, forbidden love. Good? Bad? I think I envy him.

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  2. Laura,

    “Some sort of moon man language” (because we all know there is more than one moon man language).
    You’ve hit a new (fantastic) low with this entry. I LOVE it.

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