You Can’t Please Everyone – The Old Man and the Sea

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at The Old Man and the Sea:

What was the point in this book? The guy sat in a boat for God knows how many days to catch this fish. Yeah, happy day, good for him, but who cares?!

I couldn’t have cared less what happened to the old man, the fish, the boat, or Ernest Hemmingway. It was a titanic struggle to get through the book–way harder than anything the old man had to face. James Joyce does stream of consciousness a whole lot better–and I hate Joyce’s writing too.

If you are an average Joe looking for a good book to read, this is not for you. I found this book to be repetitive and everything is always linked to something else. It seems to drag on with descriptions and may seem as if it could be written in a few pages. If you are the a literature junky, the type that cannot get enough symbolism and loves to sit around and analyze stories trying to find a hidden meaning this book will delight you, but if you want a book with suspense, mystery and a decent ending stay away.

There was about one hundred pages about a fish. Why would anyone care that much about a fish? If the story had a little more action and a little less about the mans’ cramped hand, it would be a tiny bit better. If you wanted to read a book about a fish, this is the book for you.

This book is very boring. In the beginning it didn’t even spark my interest. Because the book was written without chapters, it is kind of hard to tell whats what and whos who. I fell aslleep every 10 minutes, or made up an excuse to do something else. There is no suspense or adventure, but only an old guy talking to himself. This book is written nicely, but only in one way-(thats where the 1 star came from)-because you could picture all this in your head, because of his very descriptive writing

Have you ever watched anyone fish? Pretty boring, isn’t it? Well, just imagine how much more boring it would be to read about somebody else fishing. That should give you a sense of how mind-numbing an experience it is to read “The Old Man and the Sea.” I am not ignorant of its deep religious symbolism. It is certainly a profound story, but it also happens to be a very dull one.

“The Old Man and the Sea” should be changed to “The Old Man and the Snore.” This book doesn’t even deserve 1 star. Symbolism is flowing faster than a faucet in this book, so be prepared. Read this book when you are wide-awake, as you may fall asleep when the Old Man is talking to himself, when he is alone at sea. Again, this is another book I do not understand why is required reading in high school, as I got nothing out of it but a good nap. I do not recommend.

This “novel” was the worst “piece of literature” I have ever read. If you can spare yourself from the agony of reading a hundred or so pages about an old man and a fish, than do so. This book brought the worst period of my life to a dramatic climax. I was more miserable reading this book than when my wife divorced me and my parents disowned me. I now have no one but at least I don’t have to read this book anymore. Thank you god.

The Old Man and the Sea is short and sweet, and also it is so boring that the pages are repetitive of the same details. I could have skipped some and not to miss a thing. By the time the Old Man gets to slay fish and sharks, he is feeling like a hero at the end of the day. To me, he is just a loser who happened to kill bunch of animals to prove his worth. Come on, get a life. All in all, The Old Man and the Sea is a dull read.

Hemingway apes “Moby Dick,” recasting Ahab as a “black sheep” shaman who constantly yearns for his overly emotional boy slave and has self-destructive tendencies he takes out on his loved ones and those who seek to possess said loved ones. Everything is emptiness, like brainpans fried away, ornaments without luster.

At least Idaho Spud keeps his aimless ramblings brief, unlike the constipated “A Moveable Feast,” in which Papa Longstocking trained a spotlight on the mundanity of social hour at the writers guild.

Slow.Slow.Slow.
Enough said
I really wanted to burn Hemingway alive (but…that’s out of the question)
Plot was awfully developed.

This book sucks. Only a depressed person would like this book. The old man is lonely and keeps trying to fish but doesn’t catch any. It’s like that old saying, if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything, but this old man failed. Only a depressed person would like it

Negative infinity stars.

Comments

7 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. I generally like Hemingway’s books and stories but Old Man and Sea was among the worst reading assignments I had in high school. I think a big part of the problem was my teacher’s over analysis of it. My husband adores the book and one of these days I will re-read it to try to see it from his perspective.

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  2. luvcynicalc,

    I’ve not written in years, but I’ve got to get started again. These stinker reviews are so entertaining. I think I’ll start with book club darlings.

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  3. The writer in me wants to punch every one of these reviewers in the face. Ooh, I wanna hit ‘em so bad. Most of the YCPE posts give me something to laugh at, but this is just… too… GAH! punch punch punch

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  4. err,

    jeez

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  5. True story: my 12-year-old asked about a list of people she wasn’t familiar with, so I gave her quick answers. Ernest Hemingway was one. “He was an author. He wrote The Old Man and the Sea. I don’t remember what else. Lived in Key West. They called him Papa. He had a six-toed cat. That’s why they call them Hemingway cats.” I’ll have to ask her how she did on that assignment.

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  6. Nick,

    My college professor hated this book and East of Eden by Steinbeck. I also hated East of Eden but I’ve never read Old Man. I’m not pleased. Not at all.

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  7. JD,

    Oh my God I hate this book with the passion of a thousand suns I had to read this and East of Eden by Steinbeck (which I surprisingly enjoyed) for the summer. So boring. Who cares about this old man and the ways of the sea. So glad that I have English the 2nd semester to have more time to read it. It so short but it is so boring that you never want to read it.

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