You Can’t Please Everyone – Jaws

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Jaws:

This movie is SOOOOOOOOOO bad! By far, the most overrated movie of the 70’s. What’s the big deal? And how many times can you say “Shark attack! Get out of the water!” in five minutes? Well, find out when and IF you rent this crap, even though everyone of Earth has seen it already.

They don’t show the shark until 5 minutes to the end of the movie, either! Every time a scary or suspenseful part comes, it turns out to be a fish or something in the water, but not the shark.

I can’t understand why JAWS continously pops up on ‘Greatest Horror Movie’
lists and critiques…it is NOT great, NOT a horror (more like horrible),
and while it IS a movie, it’s just not all that good to me. I guess most people like it because it has a lot of names involved with it. Maybe I’m biased because I am not a swimmer and have never been into water sports, but I just find it extremely boring after the first attack or two. There are far better movies as far as I am concerned…JAWS is one of my least favorite films, never liked it even as a kid.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind was AWESOME. JAWS was horrible! Cheesy special effects,atrocious acting,URGH!

Literally, the only remote credability I can see from this movie is Spielberg directing.

Professional move script writers agreed with me that the plot of this movie is very thin, and here’s a perfect example.

Basically, the plot goes round in circles with people (who don’t even qualify as minor characters) getting killed off by a shark while nobody cares… I mean, knows that this is happening. But THEN, later on someone dies in front of everybody. So because they all saw this, nobody goes in the ocean at that beach anymore and the movie ends, right? Well, no. Because this is only about 40-50 minutes in, three idiots begin hunting the shark with a boat, despite the fact that nobody with any semblence of a brain would be swimming near that beach. In other words, not only does the plot make no sense, but THE ENTIRE SECOND HALF OF THIS MOVIE IS FILLER.

By far the worst thing about this is that it is an adaptation of a novel (written by Peter Benchley, if I’m not mistaken). This means that Peter Benchley actually managed to drag out this boring, black-and-white, thinly-plotted storyline, without characters* anyone actually cares about, for several hundred pages. Well, either that of Pter Benchley wrote a GOOD novel and it got turned into this garbage.

* = well, okay, there were about thirty-five minutes in which Chief Brody was non-boring

What can I say. This movie is not only stupid, but also insensitive. Along with the fact that the acting was terrible, and the music was cheesy, I need to add something else. I am, along with being a big cat, hyena, and wolf lover, also a shark lover. Sharks are both cool and beautiful. This piece of trash shows sharks as something they are not-bloodthirsty, sadistic killers who kill for fun and destroy anything they please. Hey, humans. How about the fact that over 1,000,000 sharks died because of humans, but only 100 humans died because of sharks? How about the fact that sharks have difficulties and feelings just like we do? How about the fact that this movie is an attempt to make people hate sharks, when they should be helping them? As far as I’m concerned, anyone who likes this movie is insensitive to the cruelties sharks have had to go through. A message to the director Steven Speilberg-YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!!!!!!! If it were up to me, every copy of this movie and any other movie meant to make hate to any cool predator would be rocketed into space forever. And I don’t give a (BEEP)that many people liked this movie. They just don’t see what I see. I can’t believe I ever watched this stupid s–t. If you are a shark lover, or an animal lover of any sort, do not see this movie. It is just another way to represent sharks as evil. And Steven Spielberg is a jerk. A very big jerk. Boy, how he makes me PUKE! Anyway, nuff said. Don’t see this work of insensitivity.

Come on. Why do people consider this a classic? Why do people consider this good?

I’ve watched it so many times, trying to find a redeeming quality SOMEWHERE in it, but I just can’t! And it frustrates me how people proclaim it a great movie and a classic, and it’s a terrible movie! Of course, I realize this is just my opinion, and I’m not masquerading it as anything more, but come on, now. Why is it so great? Why is it so suspenseful? I just don’t get it.

At least ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ beat it for Best Picture.

The Transatlantic Accent

From Abagond:

The Transatlantic accent, also called a Mid-Atlantic accent, is a way of speaking English that is halfway between American and British. It makes you sound like you have a good education but no one can tell quite where you are from. You hear it in old Hollywood films from the 1930s and 1940s. It is the accent of Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, William F Buckley and (at least in some films) God.

There is no town in the world where people grow up speaking English that way. Instead you get the accent in one of three ways

Brit Hume: Tiger Woods must become Christian to be forgiven

Brit Humes gives Tiger Woods some advice:

Buddhism is inferior to Christianity when it comes to forgiveness of sins, according to Fox News pundit Brit Hume. Tiger Woods should turn his back on Buddhism and become a Christian to be forgiven for cheating on his wife, Hume told Fox News’ Chris Wallace Sunday.

“The extent to which he can recover seems to me depends on his faith,” said Hume. “He is said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of redemption and forgiveness offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger is, ‘Tiger turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.”

(via J-Walk)

Because no Christian would ever cheat on their spouse.

The Lost Decade for the Economy

From The Washington Post:

The U.S. economy has expanded at a healthy clip for most of the last 70 years, but by a wide range of measures, it stagnated in the first decade of the new millennium. Job growth was essentially zero, as modest job creation from 2003 to 2007 wasn’t enough to make up for two recessions in the decade. Rises in the nation’s economic output, as measured by gross domestic product, was weak. And household net worth, when adjusted for inflation, fell as stock prices stagnated, home prices declined in the second half of the decade and consumer debt skyrocketed.