You Can’t Please Everyone – A Christmas Story

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at A Christmas Story:

I have to agree whole heartedly with Jamie. This is the worst Christmas Movie I have seen. The profanity ruins it. It’s a 1940’s film with 1990’s movie profanity. If you have children under the age of 10, you need to be aware. The father is mean. The are two prolonged scenes where a bully makes another boy put his tongue on a metal pole and another where Ralphie fights with him. And to top it off the Santa and his elves are mean. There is not an uplifting feeling throughout this movie….

I just watched “A Christmas Story” and was very disturbed by it. It takes place in the 1940s (I think), but it is not at all like “Miracle on 34th Street”, which was made in the 1940s. There is a lot of violence in this film (hitting, beating, slapping) and worst of all, profanity. The boy in the movie has a fantasy of getting an air rifle and killing crooks. In this age of gun violence, this is the last thing that kids or adults need to see. I would not recommend this movie to anyone. And if this movie is about Christmas, I certainly couldn’t tell.

I first saw the promo for this on Turner Classic Movies. I was going to be sure that it was, and had to be, dumb, scary, violent, and mean-looking. To
tell you the truth, I was right. It is about this boy named Ralphie, who dose
not mind the adults looking after him. He behaves like a SPOILED, SELFISH, ROTTEN, CHILD OF A BRAT. He tells his parents that he wants a BB air rifle gun for Chirstmas. I repeat, A BB AIR RIFLE. But, his mother tells him no, and that it’s dangerous. Children should not be allowed to play rifles, including BB ones. Ralphie was, and is, a terrible, terrible child. I did not
like him at all. A child wanting a gun for Chirstmas… is horrible. Do not show this to your children. It’s more of a rated R then a PG.

I gave this one star, because there is no “0” rating. Many people encouraged me to watch this…….this……thing, so last year I tried it. I kept wondering why everyone liked it so much. It was absolutely horrible. I forced myself to finish the movie: 1) I had hopes it would get better and 2) everyone said it was great.

If you have not seen it, let me tell you it is NOT great. It is boring, silly, immature and a great big waste of time.

I feel this DVD should not be a part of Christmas, maybe it should be shown at Halloween. I appreciate that this is how one man remembers his childhood but I wish my in-laws had never shown this movie to my children. They are not permanently damaged by this movie but it should be labeled as twisted.

What is this junk? How can so many people think it’s so cute and funny and consider it a classic?

It’s just about a whiny child who wants a gun for Christmas, and just about every adult tells him he’ll “shoot his eye out”! That’s the 1940s’ equivalent of a child asking for a violent video game such as the Grand Theft Auto series and parents saying, “you’ll end up shooting your next door neighbor” in today’s world! How can you call “A Christmas Story” a classic if it’s a hypocrisy of today’s standards?

Yes, entertainment’s entertainment. Movies are supposed to be fantasy road trips that takes us away from real-world problems for 90-or-so minutes. But I think movies tend to have a deeper meaning that is often hidden behind the superficial eye candy and storyline.

I would rather have my eye poked out than watching a movie about a whinning kid who wants a BB gun for christmas for god knows why, maybe shooting the kid who put his tongue on a frozen flagpole on a dare.

What were the writers thinking? what were the actors thinking? and what are people thinking who watch this horrible film each year? i think the world has gone mad i tell you… there is nothing funny about this…. every joke is so over-done already; i see better disney channel movies each year!!! what happened to classics like White Christmas or It’s a Wonderful Life? come on! what is better: seeing a leg lamp or learning the true meaning of christmas!!!! if i have to watch this poorly done movie again i will poke my eye out…seriously

My son and friend had me watch this movie with them. What a sad excuse for a Christmas movie. There’s no warmth. It’s a story of a dysfunctional family with a sad excuse for a father whose fascination with the leg lamp is just too bizarre. The kid gets bullied and beats up the bully. Santa is supposed to be a kid’s dream at Christmas. What does this movie show but a mean spirited fake who scares kids and ruins their dreams. This movie is awful. Christmas is a time for good feelings and faith, and this movie destroys the meaning of the holiday.

With respect to those who adore this movie and speaking as a mom who picked it for little kids – I was very disappointed. If you’re looking for a change for the little ones – try Tim Allen’s “The Santa Clause”. While I can see the point of the reviewer from Chicago – I think there are better choices FOR KIDS than this one – so don’t get taken in by the big blue eyes. It’s not a kids’ movie. It’s not just “the F word” – which doesn’t get spoken (then I had to exlain why “fudge” was a bad word in this case…). But not only is that scene bad enough, it is followed by the mom washing out Ralph’s mouth and his ratting on his friend and then Mom calls the friend’s mom…. it was not fun to dance around with my 6.5yr old who kept asking what Ralph really said. Fine – children will get exposed to all the horrible things in this movie in the reality of life – but c’mon – in a Christmas movie?? From an ADULT stand point – it was a nice movie, but not one I’d put on the list with It’s a Wonderful Life. Beating up the bully and horrible visits to Santa don’t bring the Christmas spirit to my heart.

I finally watched it and I hate it. Horrible and that little kid drives me nuts. Get rid of this movie.
Sorry I can’t stand it.

I don’t get why people like this movie. It’s irritating and depressing. I feel sad that there are so many people that identify with this being what Christmas is like. The store Santa is a drunken criminal, and I can’t imagine why he would keep his job. Kid’s just don’t drool and have as much snot as this movie depicts. If this is what the 50’s was like, no wonder we’re all on anti-depressants.

  • Susan

    Amateur reviews can be amusing. It’s true of everything that people write reviews on – books, movies, even toys. There is no agreed criteria for ratings. It’s not always clear what the critic is basing their opinion on. For example, they may not really have an issue with “A Christmas Story” from a film maker’s perspective, but they strongly dislike kids or guns or have some other issue.

    I’ve seen Amazon reviews where the confused author of the review wrote about the customer service of the distributor.

    Often a book on a controversial topic will get low ratings because readers disagree with the author’s conclusion, regardless of how well the book was researched or written.

    My husband and I were reading the reviews on a science toy before buying, and it amused me to see that one reviewwer who gave a certain toy the lowest rating also appeared to have not read the instructions. 🙂

  • Angry Sam

    These comments are pretty funny, but c’mon. The movie sucks. Hard. It’s an endless parade of poorly-executed physical comedy, cultural references with which nobody can identify anymore, and throwaway “that is so true” jokes. Okay, the leg lamp is kinda funny in a dumb way.

  • Neil

    Profanity? Huh? You mean “except I didn’t say fudge?” or the gutteral noises the Dad makes when he’s supposed to be cursing? Wow. R rating to boot. I’m amazed by the number of people under 40 I meet who think that there was no such thing as profanity prior to 1980.

    It was a funny movie when I first saw in the 80’s, but has really lost it after being played over and over again.

  • Stewmeat

    Sorry guys, but this is one of the greatest xmas movies of all time and there are plenty of people who relate to it Angry. Hell I didn’t even grow up that era, but my parents did which means I can still relate to it.

  • #1

    I don’t know if I can comment on its objective worth; I can only say that it causes the single strongest negative reaction I have to any movie. It’s like a deadly allergy.

  • Drea

    I just remember getting freaked out by the movie every time I tried to watch it as a kid, so I never developed the nostalgic bond to it that lots of people my age seem to have. In my mind it kind of goes like this: A Christmas Story –> psycho dad with leg lamp –> creepy.

  • These people should be forced to watch a 24-hour *Bad Santa* marathon.

  • Badly behaved brats and Guns? Not my idea of a Christmas movie. Give me heart warming sentiment any day! Beautiful winter images, open fires, a promise of magic and the boundless wonder of imagination. Now where did I put tha Polar Express DVD – mmm yummy.

  • zepar

    My children enjoy watching it in the middle of july. They are weird like their dad.

  • I love that movie!
    It reminded me of the ups and downs of being a kid:
    someday they’ll be sorry! fantasies, waiting for a prize in the mail, bullies, the surprise “C+”, the toy you wanted (but couldn’t have because Mom thought it was dangerous), Dad v.s. a stubborn furnace, getting an atrocious outfit from a relative and being forced to wear it, the creepy department store Santa…

  • Abi

    I want a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas.

    • Meg

      You’ll shoot your eye out!

  • McGee

    This is my second-favorite Christmas movie. I don’t have cable TV, so I don’t have to endure the 24-hour marathons. I watch it once a year at Christmastime, and I adore it.

    My favorite Christmas “movie” is Raymond Briggs’ “The Snowman.” No dialogue, but wonderful, evocative music, and magic fills the air. Stupdendous.

  • I am having a flashback. Also, thanks to Chris for reminding me that Angry Sam is dead to me. DEAD!

    • Angry Sam

      Why don’t you go lick a flag pole? OH SNAP!

  • Meh. I never cared enough about this movie to hate it.

    • I take it you’ve never seen “Mac ‘n’ Me?”

  • Angry Sam

    I am happy to report that I still hate this movie, as noted above.

  • Angry Sam, I think you should change your name to Heartless Bastard to be more accurate.

    Oh Fudge!

  • I remember growing up and having to bundle up to walk through the snow to school in galoshes, putting up with bullies far worse than in this story, wanting a bb gun and parents who wouldn’t get me one, being disappointed by commercialization. As a teacher I remember how disappointed Ralphie was by a C+ on an essay he thought was the best one ever written. I always explain what my grade is based on and what the students need to do to get a better grade so they know why it wasn’t the best one ever written.
    Maybe people today don’t understand the nostalgia or that this was a family that was human with love and disagreements. A father who provided for his family, but wasn’t perfect. A father who also knew how to please his son even if the mother didn’t like it.
    It’s a classic because people identify with the characters. Maybe those who pan it can’t identify with this family to their loss.

  • I’m sorry, but 24 hours of A Christmas Story just wasn’t enough. Glad I DVR’d it. Angry Sam, ACS party at my house this new years eve!!!