Get Cynical

Off you go.

Obviously fake. No humans really talk like that.

A helpful list of nonreligious charities.

(via Pharyngula)

I think I understood more English in this than any James Brown song I’ve heard.

The Onion:

Members of the earth’s earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

“I do not understand,” reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. “A booming voice is saying, ‘Let there be light,’ but there is already light. It is saying, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass,’ but I am already standing on grass.”

“Everything is here already,” the pictograph continues. “We do not need more stars.”

Historians believe that, immediately following the biblical event, Sumerian witnesses returned to the city of Eridu, a bustling metropolis built 1,500 years before God called for the appearance of dry land, to discuss the new development. According to records, Sumerian farmers, priests, and civic administrators were not only befuddled, but also took issue with the face of God moving across the water, saying that He scared away those who were traveling to Mesopotamia to participate in their vast and intricate trade system.

(via J-Walk)

I’m dying for some pho at the moment. But I have no time to eat lunch out today and it’s really not a good office takeout food…

Our very own Cynical Inquisitor General Abbi Crutchfield asks:

What was the last event you crashed? How were you able to sneak in?

From Freesleeping.blogspot.com:

Glenn Campbell is this dude who used to work as a baggage handler for a major airline until he got laid off in September 2008. The good news: He can still fly for free anywhere in North America and Europe (for a while at least) without the inconvenience of working for it. The bad news: He has very little money and can’t afford hotels. The solution: He has become deliberately homeless, finding ways to live comfortably while paying little or no rent. When he is traveling, he sleeps in tents, hostels, airplanes and rental cars. When he’s not traveling, he camps on on a hilltop in San Diego. Along the way, he finds a lot of tips and techniques for comfortable homeless living anywhere. Turns out, you don’t need a fixed residence or a lot of money to be happy and healthy. It’s all about freedom, creativity, and finding clever ways to do what you want within the limited resources available.

(via Kung Fu Grippe)

A BBC show called ‘Fun to Imagine’ which features Richard Feynman pontificating on various science questions. This is from Metafilter which has a complete list of segments from the program (if you have difficulty navigating through YouTube)