79 comments

  1. “LOUD MOUTH WOMEN”. Har.

    At least they somehow managed to get “Homo’s” right. I suppose if you go for the scattergun approach you’re bound to hit something.

    1. In my experience, PK stands for Preacher’s Kid. Admittedly, PKs often get a bad reputation, so maybe that is what he means?

    2. I thought it was a reference to Pakistan, but then I guess he/she just would have gone for the classic “Paki” in that case. Must be player killer.

      1. You’d be amazed at the number of crazies who fervently believe the Jews are the chosen people. Totally blows their mind when they find out the chosen people are often also the people they think are going to burn in hell.

  2. I thought I was free and clear until the “Sport’s Nut’s” got me at the end. I was so close to going to Heaven – DAMN!

  3. I was good till High Fullutent Sophisticated Swine. Dammit, it’s like he sees right into my sole’s.

  4. YOU WILL ALL KNEEL BEFORE THE MIGHT AND MAJESTY OF SARAH PALIN’S APOSTOPHES! (Gag-hack-chortle.) 😉

  5. P.K. = Preacher’s Kid.

    I’m only a lean 15… Chris, how did you get 17? Surely you’re not a gangster…

      1. I did. Figure counting one and not the other when I’m atheist-agnostic would’ve also gotten me “Liar’s”. Though I’m not sure anyone has managed to avoid lying even *once*. Certainly everyone claims they didn’t steal a cookie from the jar when they were three?

  6. As a HIGH FULLUTENT, I can’t help but find the variable font kerning impressive and intriguing. Additionally, I wonder if the author’s inability to fully justify several words was a conscious attempt to layer this masterpiece with additional meaning.

  7. You have to ask yourself – would you really want to hang out with somebody who wasn’t included in that list?

    Could it be the latest version of the conservative purity test? Please, please, please make that true.

  8. It’s got to be the flip chart result of the Fox News team building exercise…
    “Hi everyone, Glen, Bill, Ann – my name is Bill and today we’re going to do an ice-breaker. Imagine that you could make a sign, any sign you want, that has all of the evil things you can think of, no Ann, not Obama. Just let it flow and remember, Jesus loves you…”

    1. Um, I hate to split hairs, but I think it may be the colloquial Jayzus; emphasis on the “Jay” and the final “s.” Check your references and let me know if you agree.

  9. Hey Angry Sam, I too was shocked that Jews are apparently OK. As soon as I saw this I was waiting for that.

    I’m sitting at a solid 17 myself. 18 if caffeine counts as a drug.

  10. They didn’t forget buddhists and muslims but missed out on those hindus..and jews..and russians.. 😮
    so that would have been 99 percent of the world’s population covered in that list 😀 😀

  11. wtf guys, I have done some crazy shit but I can only muster about 12, if I start pushing it maybe 15. 17 Chris? From your pic I wouldn’t call you effeminate at all. 😉

  12. Huh. I managed to hit 20 if I stretched a bit (not practising Buddhist, but agree with much of the philosophy; haven’t been Pagan since I was 14, that sort of thing) and 13 if I only claim what they’d consider me now. Too bad really, I was hoping for a higher eternal hellfire score.

  13. Wait, is it possible? Jews aren’t on the list? Way to go Chosen People!
    Unfortunately I fall into about 13 of those catagories so I’ll be in hell with all you other agnostic, “high fullutent”, sports nuts.

  14. He’s holding the sign up with his middle-finger. And I guess this guy must return his tax-return every year, “governmentt recipient’s”

  15. ummm how the hell do emo’s deserve to go to hell?? they dont do anything to any one appart from looking moapy…..

  16. 17 baby, I think im going to hell am I? emos deserve going to hell, they are to fcuk up, hail metal…

  17. I dunno, this looks like a very unscientific test… I see no meaningful distinction between atheist and agnostic, for example – do I count ’em twice? Do I score as ‘abortionist’ for being pro-choice, or would I have had to have actually carried out an abortion? How effeminate is effeminate – lipstick and dresses, or simply out of place in Deliverance? I like the odd game of poker, but does that make me a gambler? What makes a pervert? (well, I guess I get that one whatever.) I guess some things are clearly present-state-only (I assume you must currently be a Jehovah’s Witless to score for that), but some are predicated upon actions – is there a statute of limitations for those offences, or is it ‘once an adulterer, always an adulterer’? Isn’t there some kind of guidance sheet to go with this?

  18. A couple of tings: Is there something holy about loud mouth(ed) men? Or does it hit too close to home?

    Aren’t most of the people on the list the kind of folks Jesus hung out with?

  19. I scored 12. How did rapists, child molesters and murderers not make the list? I guess they had to cover their ass somehow!

  20. I have just finished laughing at everyone’s comments. This is just so brilliant I have to add my score, I would hate to miss out.

    I scored an impressive….drum roll please….: 22!!! Does that put me in 1st place on the leader board?? Woohoo *cheers loudly*

    signing off, a very happy – Preacher’s Kid (for real), Feminist Baha’i Environmentalist who is at times a bit High Falutin especially after feeding her caffeine addiction (read also Druggie), aka Loud Mouth Woman….(& 15 other list items)

    See all you other good folks in the fiery furnace 🙂

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