• Meg

    I’m very offended!…by their punctuation.



    At least they somehow managed to get “Homo’s” right. I suppose if you go for the scattergun approach you’re bound to hit something.

    • outeast

      Depend’s on which style convention’s you follow I guess. My book say’s thats wrong.

  • What are “P.K’s” ?

    • Player Killers. Although perhaps Mr. Signbearer meant something else. Or he’s a hell of a gamer.

    • -l

      In my experience, PK stands for Preacher’s Kid. Admittedly, PKs often get a bad reputation, so maybe that is what he means?

    • Meg

      Promise Keepers? *shrug*

    • Justin

      I thought it was a reference to Pakistan, but then I guess he/she just would have gone for the classic “Paki” in that case. Must be player killer.

  • Ohhhkaayyyy…..

  • Angry Sam

    The real mystery here is why the sign maker spelled “druggies” properly without an apostrophe.

    • Angry Sam

      Also, they totally forgot “Jew’s.”

      • You’d be amazed at the number of crazies who fervently believe the Jews are the chosen people. Totally blows their mind when they find out the chosen people are often also the people they think are going to burn in hell.

  • I’m at least sixteen things on that list, and have been at least two others.

  • Rev. PauL

    I scored a 15.
    What High Fullutent and P.K. means?

    What is everyones score?

  • Is there anyone who DOESN’T fit a few of those? The sign bearer should’ve just put “everyone but me!”

    …and throw a few apostrophes in there.

  • Brian

    I thought I was free and clear until the “Sport’s Nut’s” got me at the end. I was so close to going to Heaven – DAMN!

  • jchack

    I was good till High Fullutent Sophisticated Swine. Dammit, it’s like he sees right into my sole’s.

  • err

    sophisticated swine?
    would that be like a pig that wears a monacle and uses a cane?

    • Rev. Snarfleez……

      I believe the sign maker meant to address THESE GUY’S

      • flychinook

        Pass the Pigs! I used to love that game!

  • Cornjob


  • Erin

    I’m surprised “Bigot’s” isn’t on there, too. Oh wait…

  • Kelsey

    P.K. = Preacher’s Kid.

    I’m only a lean 15… Chris, how did you get 17? Surely you’re not a gangster…

    • Claire

      If you’re an atheist, can you also count yourself as an agnostic?

      • I did. Figure counting one and not the other when I’m atheist-agnostic would’ve also gotten me “Liar’s”. Though I’m not sure anyone has managed to avoid lying even *once*. Certainly everyone claims they didn’t steal a cookie from the jar when they were three?

      • umm, I scored 1pt for each…
        Hope im not breaking the rules.

  • dang

    Bahi’s ???

    • MaybeSupernova

      Guessing that’s a misspelling of “Baha’i” which is a religion.

  • dang

    As a HIGH FULLUTENT, I can’t help but find the variable font kerning impressive and intriguing. Additionally, I wonder if the author’s inability to fully justify several words was a conscious attempt to layer this masterpiece with additional meaning.

  • Rick

    You have to ask yourself – would you really want to hang out with somebody who wasn’t included in that list?

    Could it be the latest version of the conservative purity test? Please, please, please make that true.

  • Mandible


  • Claire

    What does this guy have against being an undershirt?

  • Dan

    Murderers – your off scott free.

  • Yvonne

    Those poor Emo’s always getting blamed for everything bad.

  • Justin

    “High fullutent”?! Was this written by Yosemite Sam?

  • It’s got to be the flip chart result of the Fox News team building exercise…
    “Hi everyone, Glen, Bill, Ann – my name is Bill and today we’re going to do an ice-breaker. Imagine that you could make a sign, any sign you want, that has all of the evil things you can think of, no Ann, not Obama. Just let it flow and remember, Jesus loves you…”

  • quite mouth w

    I think that the instruction was to remember that Jeezus loves you.

    • wordgirl

      Um, I hate to split hairs, but I think it may be the colloquial Jayzus; emphasis on the “Jay” and the final “s.” Check your references and let me know if you agree.

  • derek

    hmmm “Love thy neighbor as thyself” wwjd man?

  • Sean

    Hey Angry Sam, I too was shocked that Jews are apparently OK. As soon as I saw this I was waiting for that.

    I’m sitting at a solid 17 myself. 18 if caffeine counts as a drug.

  • Mohit

    They didn’t forget buddhists and muslims but missed out on those hindus..and jews..and russians.. 😮
    so that would have been 99 percent of the world’s population covered in that list 😀 😀

  • Terry

    stumbleupon just showed me this page…too bad I’m already a subscriber

  • lumo

    penalty kicks?

  • Rick

    Send him this link: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe

  • wtf guys, I have done some crazy shit but I can only muster about 12, if I start pushing it maybe 15. 17 Chris? From your pic I wouldn’t call you effeminate at all. 😉

  • Huh. I managed to hit 20 if I stretched a bit (not practising Buddhist, but agree with much of the philosophy; haven’t been Pagan since I was 14, that sort of thing) and 13 if I only claim what they’d consider me now. Too bad really, I was hoping for a higher eternal hellfire score.

  • Wait, is it possible? Jews aren’t on the list? Way to go Chosen People!
    Unfortunately I fall into about 13 of those catagories so I’ll be in hell with all you other agnostic, “high fullutent”, sports nuts.

  • Debbe

    I meet 16 of the requirements… what’s my prize???

  • Scored 17 an counting!

    Yeah?? What About the “j” word ??
    Looks like they ran out of room

  • karma?

    Hot damn! I’m an even 20 if I count “High Falutent” and “Sophisticated Swine.”

  • PK is Phil Klinton. Or Parak Kobama.

  • milleronic

    where are the republican’s??

  • Johnny

    He’s holding the sign up with his middle-finger. And I guess this guy must return his tax-return every year, “governmentt recipient’s”

  • bread

    ummm how the hell do emo’s deserve to go to hell?? they dont do anything to any one appart from looking moapy…..

  • daniel

    17 baby, I think im going to hell am I? emos deserve going to hell, they are to fcuk up, hail metal…

  • outeast

    I dunno, this looks like a very unscientific test… I see no meaningful distinction between atheist and agnostic, for example – do I count ’em twice? Do I score as ‘abortionist’ for being pro-choice, or would I have had to have actually carried out an abortion? How effeminate is effeminate – lipstick and dresses, or simply out of place in Deliverance? I like the odd game of poker, but does that make me a gambler? What makes a pervert? (well, I guess I get that one whatever.) I guess some things are clearly present-state-only (I assume you must currently be a Jehovah’s Witless to score for that), but some are predicated upon actions – is there a statute of limitations for those offences, or is it ‘once an adulterer, always an adulterer’? Isn’t there some kind of guidance sheet to go with this?

  • Nikky

    What’s wrong with environmentalists? People who believe in god can’t like the earth?

  • Tofu

    I only scored a 10… I’m a very boring person.

  • High Fullutent

    I got a twelve!
    That is, if you count High Fullutent. WTF is a high fullutent?

  • i think the moron mean’s “high falutin'” – show off’s.
    i think a big WWJSFOT is in order, here.

  • vince

    A couple of tings: Is there something holy about loud mouth(ed) men? Or does it hit too close to home?

    Aren’t most of the people on the list the kind of folks Jesus hung out with?

  • Wolfie Rankin

    “Let’s playyyyy… Master Bigot!”

  • nonsuch10

    I scored 12. How did rapists, child molesters and murderers not make the list? I guess they had to cover their ass somehow!

  • I have just finished laughing at everyone’s comments. This is just so brilliant I have to add my score, I would hate to miss out.

    I scored an impressive….drum roll please….: 22!!! Does that put me in 1st place on the leader board?? Woohoo *cheers loudly*

    signing off, a very happy – Preacher’s Kid (for real), Feminist Baha’i Environmentalist who is at times a bit High Falutin especially after feeding her caffeine addiction (read also Druggie), aka Loud Mouth Woman….(& 15 other list items)

    See all you other good folks in the fiery furnace 🙂

  • Kalli

    Uh oh…I got 18 if I include some stuff from my youth…and I’m a church deacon!

  • fistikuffs

    What’s a thieve is?

  • Rick Miller

    “SPORT’S NUT’S” got TWO apostrophes. They must be extra bad.

  • Jared DeSimio

    what about religious extremists?

  • Rei

    What’s “P.K’s”?

  • Cookies

    I lol’d so incredibly hard at the fact that a site mocking religion has a scientology ad 😀

  • Avi

    I’m glad they left out the Jews for once 🙂

  • Renton

    We already know they hate everyone, those Christians, but they could at least learn grammar.

  • jb

    SPORT’S NUT’S! ha!

  • wait wouldn’t it be…. repent in jesu’s?

  • believe*

  • frmr Repubican

    Sophisticated Swine are bad, but Plain Swine are OK?

    Quick, remove the lipstick from that pig!

  • davetheslave

    yup..they are all there…maybe cyclists…errrrrrr, i hate cyclists