1. jeez that woman’s skin looks like a sausage casing.

    too-dark fake tans have long been a pet peeve of mine, so i hope this “pale is the new tan” thing catches on.

    i saw a picture of a female coworker (who is a tanning bed enthusiast) out to dinner with some friends (who were apparently not tanning bed enthusiasts) and it looked like she wasn’t really there, and had photoshopped herself into the picture after the fact.

  2. Best part of fake tanners are the ones who end up looking like Oompa Loompas. And that lady in this pic, well preserved. Were Ricardo Montalban not deceased he’d be fighting to feel that Corinthian leather.

  3. There’s dozens of ladies like this down in Bal Harbour, Fla. Middle-aged (mostly Jewish) women with nothing to do but shop, tan, shop some more, and fool around with the pool-cleaning guy. They believe they look amazing and they don’t care what others think.

  4. On my last vacation, I noticed several women lounging poolside everyday, who were straight-up red. It made me cringe, and I actually was very worried about their health. As for me, I only went outside with an spf of at least 80, to maintain my deathly palor despite the blazing sun.

  5. Look at the leathery wrinkles on the tummy pouch and the arms… that is so NOT a fake tan!! Can YOU say “melanoma”???

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