Everything You Wanted to Know About a Black Woman’s Hair But Were Afraid to Ask

From The Girl with The Golden Mind:

If I’m not washing my hair, it doesn’t get wet – simple as. I wash my hair once, maybe twice a week. If that makes you go ‘eurgh’ consider this: hair washing is no joke. You have to wash condition and at least blow-dry your hair before doing anything with it, which can involve straightening irons and tongs. This could take about 45 minutes, maybe more if some major styling is going on. Extensions have to be delicately handled.

Now you see why, of a morning, you don’t see women with Afro hair or extensions with dripping wet, fresh-from-the-shower hair that will drip-dry in time for strolling into the office. When I tell you I’m staying indoors to wash my hair, that’s not an excuse: it’s an operation, not something to do in the shower after soaping your pits’n’bits. Also, moisture has to be added to hair after washing. Out come the hair oils, moisturisers and good old hair grease for that scalp.

Also, you don’t mess with the final ‘do, weave or not. Partners and relatives are issued with special cards which entitle the holder to caress hair at will. Unauthorised contact is met with a swift roundhouse kick to the head. I kid, I kid! I love having my hair played with, but only if it’s un-weaved. And yes, permissions are guarded jealously.