1. So, when does this guy get his own show on Fox? Whenever I hear talk like this, I’m reminded of the scene in “A Christmas Carol” where the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come reveals two shrunken waifs hiding under his robe. “These are Ignorance and Want”, he says, “of which the former is the more dangerous”.

    PS Don’t leave your soda bottle unattended with this guy around, either.

  2. YEEEE HAW. He does nothing but reinforce the Republican stereotype. Dip. CHECK. Guns. CHECK. Confederate flag. CHECK. Ignorance. Check. White male. CHECK.

  3. Woj, you forgot these:
    Beach babe poster. CHECK. “I’m not a racist but…” CHECK. TV on while not watching. CHECK. I’m not sure if those bedsheets are also of the Confederate flag but it does look like it so: CHECK.

  4. I wonder if he thinks being a homosexual is gay too.

    Listening to that guy is like hearing Forrest Gump tell you the highlights of the movie “Deliverance.”

    When he said “I’m not racist against black people” I was truly expecting him to follow with, “I think everybody should own one.”

    Of all the people that should NOT own a gun, this guy is high on the list.

    Hurry ladies… this catch won’t be available for long!

  5. “Cuz…[spit]…I heard that…[spit]…Obuma was like…[spit]…gonna ban dip…[spit]…and that’s gay cuz…[spit]…I think he should…[spit]…be impeached…[spit]…and… …[spit]… …I think McCain shoulda won… [spit]…”

    That’s as far as I got.

    If you think your watch is slow, though, just play this video and you practically have an atomic-accuracy time keeping device.

  6. That is the worst habit to have. My dad did “Red Man” and you did NOT want to sit behind him in the car, with the windows down. Nothing like chaw blow back. shiver…

  7. Noooo! And I though that the confederate flag stood for country music and a general rebellion against the status quo. I’ve been betrayed :S

  8. Could we please just teach people how the government works? The most infuriating thing about this kind of phenomenon is how procedurally impossible any of these allegations are.

    I liked the hunting show in the background.

  9. I got about a minute and a half into it. I simply can’t stomach such rampant stupidity. Maybe we should start a movement to insist that the South secede…

  10. “Maybe we should start a movement to insist that the South secede…”

    Yes, because all Southerners are exactly like this guy. Every Southerner is a racist, inbred, tobacco chewing sister fucker, right? OK, got it.

  11. Well this cracker-ass white Southern boy has a degree from UC Berkeley, owns a business, makes a six figure income in the arts, walked door-to-door for days on end for Obama/Biden, and has a Southern father who has a mountain and two living creatures named after him, and neither one of us is ashamed to say that we’re from the South. That’s some funny shit, ain’t it? Hooo-eeee, real Deliverance stuff, hee haw!

    Hey, everybody’s got faults. I think the greatest gift we ever gave the Yankees is the gift of never having to look at yourselves in the mirror because of the completely arbitrary and random event of having been born north of Virginia.

    Here’s a Southern joke for ya: Two New Yorkers headed down to Miami stop for gas in Georgia and decide to have little fun with the locals. The NYer says to the gas station boy, “Say, I heard that Georgia is the asshole of the country”. Says the cracker, “Yep. Lotta shit passes through here”.

    Heee hoooo hahhhahaa! Well, I gotta go chew some terbackky fuck my sister again, see y’all later.

  12. How many slaves do I own….holy shit, what a question to ask me.

    OK, “Maebee” let me ask YOU some questions.

    How much money did you give to the Obama campaign? How many hours did you volunteer? How many doors did you knock on? How many books on black culture in the South and America and South America and Africa are on your bookshelf? More than mine? I doubt it. How much do you know about black traditions, black music, black food, it’s relationship to Africa, etc, Southern or otherwise? How many CDs of traditional black music do you own? You know who the Gullahs are? You know why they talk the way they do? You know the struggles they’ve been through and the white Southerners who have stood up for them? You know where American Beach is and why it’s important to Southern black culture? You know what “soul food” is and how it got here from Africa? You know one goddamn thing about us here in the South, white or black, other than you think we’re all a bunch of inbred hicks?

    I guess maybe you don’t need to know, because perhaps you’re born north of the Mason Dixon, which apparently makes you a fucking saint or something.

  13. Patricio… chill out.

    I get the feeling you missed the humor in Maebee’s question.

    Btw, your arrogant protesting is somewhat embarrassing to other (highly educated, as well) Southerners present. Sure, you’re smarter than Maebee. You’re more well-read. You’re more historically fluent. You’re the best! Ever!! (can you sense my sarcasm?)

    The fact is: this video vividly illustrates a stereotype of southern ignorance. That’s all. It’s sad, yes. It’s even infuriating and detestable. But it’s real life. And I don’t believe any of the other commenters believe that all southerners of a bunch of “inbred hicks”, as you said. By doing so, you’re only reinforcing two other stereotypes: (1) that southerners (no matter their pedigree) believe everyone hates them. (2) Southerners tend to get into pissing matches over who’s “smarter”. (as in the “I’ve got a bigger d*** than you” argument.)

    So relax. Laugh a little. And stop getting your shorts in wad, k?

  14. Leave Patricio alone. I think it’s good that he’s trying so hard to rise above his roots – and I’m sure his houseboy must appreciate having such a culturally sensitive master. It’s not fair to tease him.

  15. Hi. I live in the South (Florida).

    Just thought I’d step in to mention that it’s bad form to try and provoke someone who’s obviously gotten offended at something.

    You may feel that Patricio has overreacted (as do I) but something has apparently pressed his buttons. You and I have “hot button” issues too, and we wouldn’t want someone maliciously provoking and teasing us.

    Patricio didn’t care for a sweeping derogatory generalization that included him. I’m sure you’d all be up in arms with him were the generalization about blacks…
    Oh. You just were.

    So here we are, fuming about this YouTube redneck for speaking ill of a whole group of people, yet indifferent about doing precisely the same thing. The difference? The redneck wasn’t doing it maliciously.

    A little class people, please.

  16. Does the guy in the video ever actually say he’s from the south? Just asking because I’ve met people like him in plenty of places up north too.

  17. Patricio, I apologise. I do understand how horrible the american south has treated people in its history. I’d be ashamed if I were you to be living in a land with such horror in its past.

    PS, I am not american. I am from germany.

  18. All right, all right. Sorry for being a schmuck.

    It sure does suck to have your typical Yankee stereotypes challenged, doesn’t it? OK, you can go back to hating Southerners now.

    The irony award goes to maebee.

    “I’d be ashamed if I were you to be living in a land with such horror in its past.”

    Followed by:

    “I am from germany”


  19. Maebee: “Patricio, I apologise. I do understand how horrible the american south has treated people in its history. I’d be ashamed if I were you to be living in a land with such horror in its past.

    PS, I am not american. I am from germany.”

    One of the finniest posts I’ve read on this blog.
    Well done sir

  20. Well, imagine how you feel as a left-left German today.

    “Oh hello there, would you like some HITLER with your tea? Harharhar.”

    Oh, hehehe… funny… I think we deserve that…… sigh…

  21. Since I’m probably not welcome on this blog anymore I’ll continue to speak freely.

    First of all, I know the South has problems. But, so does the rest of the country and it’s lame to use a sweeping generalization of Southerners to feel better about yourself because you’re not from here. I’ll never forget living in California and having to listen to people who have never been to the South tell me how scared they are of Southern white people and how racist we must all be. After the Rodney King riots in LA, people that talk kind of died down for a short spell.

    I’ll also not forget my recent aquaintance from PA making jokes about Southerners and then telling me that he “hates fucking niggers”

    And how can I forget my time up in Boston, when I had roommates who teased me about being from the South, where they mistakenly thought everyone was either a rebel or a sharecropper, but then when I told them I was riding my bike around Roxbury told me to watch out for “da niggahs”.

    Then here I get the usual how many slaves do I own question and the he is rising above is slaveowning roots statements and such. Nevermind that that’s not in my past, nevermind that I have more knowledge and have more appreciation about traditional black culture than all of you people combined, nope nevermind that, I’m just an ol’ racist Southern cracker. Yeah, it is a hot button issue for me. Sorry.

    Let’s not forget that two of the best progressive presidents we’ve ever had are from the Deep South, Carter and Clinton. Whom has the rest of the country given us in my lifetime? Bush I from up north, oh boy. Bush II, posing as a Texan but just another Kennebunkport rich kid who went to Yale. Nixon and Reagan, form beautiful sunny perfect California, the two perhaps the embodiment of racist Republican elitism.

    It’s a wonderful world, isn’t is?

    Have a nice day.

  22. Hey Patricio, maybe the reason why those presidents were so progressive is because they had to struggle against the rampant racism at their places of birth? I’m just sayin’.

  23. I don’t know if Ben really wants to know what Dip is so just in case – its just a form of spit tobacco, you put it in your lip and sort of suck on it and spit it out in intervals (see the soda bottle in the video above). (I know a lot of redneck characters, and – I think dip is absolutely disgusting – but flavored dip is sort of looked down on – you too much of a pussy to just chew RedMan?)

  24. Patricio: You have a lot of great qualities. Adding modesty to the list would do wonders to diminish the target you seem to believe is on your head.

  25. “I’d be ashamed if I were you to be living in a land with such horror in its past. PS, I am not american. I am from germany.”

    please tell me this is a joke. a german– passing judgement on southerners for the atrocities they committed. hilarity ensues.

  26. Well, as a southerner, I’m a bit insulted that Patricio chose to go to school in California. What? There were no good colleges down here Patricio? That makes you a carpetbagger in my book.

  27. Well I sure did make a big old douchebag out of myself. Honestly I’m a bit embarrassed so sorry for going off and being a prick, and sorry for adding the negative vibes to your blog, Chris.

    But, I’m glad I finally got this shit off my chest all the same. When I was 15 years old I went to a counter-demonstration rally against the KKK who decided to march through the streets of my hometown. My parents asked me not to go but I went anyway. So there we were, a few hundred of us, black people and white people standing shoulder to shoulder downtown, giving the KKK a piece of our minds. And, just so you know, the white people outnumbered black people about 5 to 1, and the white people weren’t a bunch of liberal art students either. They were just regular people.

    If you’ve done that, if you’ve demonstrated against the KKK, if you’ve seen what regular old people are like down South then you can talk shit all day long about Southerners, because you’ve earned it. If you haven’t, then you can kiss my ass. I’ve got better things to do than trade insults with peons who think they’re somebody because they were born north of a line on a map. I’m taking a break for a while, so long.

  28. Just stepping in to see if my “voice of reason” attempt was successful. I’m glad to see you’ve all decided to raise the bar, and act civilly. I knew I could count on my fellow cynics.

  29. Patricio,

    Tell us that story again about how you created the Underground Railroad before writing the Emancipation Proclamation while eating a big bowl of grits.

    I like stories.

  30. Chris: Heres a quick recap: Chewing tobacco vid incites many. snide remarks become long winded posts. Rev Snarfleez plays mediator(!!) Patricio restates his case, allows continued flaming. stay tuned!

  31. Wow, I expected better from the Cynics. That was just one big dumping of Internet.

    Patricio tries to give you a reminder of civility, racism and history, and you all act like he’s the one in the wrong.

    Just ouch guys.

    Big helping of Kumbaya needed…

  32. I’ve never liked Kumbaya, it’s the one reason I decided against becoming an eco-activist hippy and instead became a logging tycoon. Sometimes I wonder how my life would’ve turned out had I sucked it up and persevered through the singing, but then I’m jarred back to reality as my original Hummer crushes yet another puppy.

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