Get Cynical

Maru, the Oliver Hardy of internet cats.

When is the last time you moved and how painful was it?

We got the keys to the new Cynical Compound on April 10th and spent the next several days making trips over there with carloads of books. It took me about 4 trips just to get my books in the new apartment which made me realize several things. 1. That Kindle sure looks light. 2. I need to start throwing out or selling some of these books. 3. Why the fuck do I own a copy of Edward O. Wilson’s The Ants???? The book cost a few hundred bucks, weighs about 95lbs and I don’t even like Ants. I’ve owned that book for years and I remember needing to have it, buying it, and then using it as an anchor so that my house didn’t blow away during a windy day.

Last Saturday we had professional movers come and get the big stuff out of the house and Sunday my family came to help with the smaller things but we’re now in the third week of the move and still have things in the old apartment to get. (Paintings, cleaning supplies, oh yeah, and a few books). We have the old place until the 30th so had plenty of overlap between moving so I have no idea how some people move in a matter of a few days.

There’s a weird moment during a move where the house you are moving from suddenly ceases to be home. I think the moment happened for me last Friday when I moved my desk and computer to the new place which probably just means that I’ve got a serious internet addiction and can’t go a few hours without being online or else I start getting the shakes and curl up into a useless ball next to the outlet where the cable modem once was.

Another state goes against the hate of god’s word and sides with human love.

HARTFORD, Conn.—A decade-long battle for same-sex marriage in Connecticut has ended with the governor’s signature on a bill updating the state’s laws.

Gov. M. Jodi Rell signed the legislation Thursday, one day after the state House and Senate both approved it.

The bill removes gender references from state marriage laws. It also transforms existing same-sex civil unions into legally recognized marriages as of Oct. 1, 2010.

Arthur Kade’s blog about his journey to stardom:

One of the biggest problems that I have is that I don’t know when to slow down. This creates situations where I am going between my work life and personal life without any breaks, and without any sleep. I feel like I am Superman, and don’t need much rest, and even though I have an amazing level of stamina, even Superman needs to sleep. When I was an advisor, I could stay out all night, or go home and hang out with a random girl, and still be at work teaching the younger advisors or conducting a client appointment by 8AM. My old boss used to call me a “Rock Star” because he never saw anyone burn both sides of the candle like me and still be super effective.

This week has been crazy, with continued filming on the movie set, and different social events that I needed to attend, and it gets even crazier this weekend. With the continued growth of “The Journey”, and the continued bookings that I am receiving on “A” level projects, I find myself unable to turn down stuff that most ordinary people would, because I want to build up my resume as fast as possible so I can get starring roles in movies or TV.

Tomorrow, I am on the movie set again, and I have a friend coming in from LA, so I need to make sure I show him “My Philly”. I want him to experience the hottest clubs and restaurants in a VIP fashion and show him the best of this town, which will probably lead into an all-nighter of fun with girls and the hottest people in the city. Since I will be on the movie set anywhere from 12-16 hours, I need to pull out my reserves, because after I am done with him, I have to head to NYC to film on a trailer for a show called “Love Possibly”. I will be featured in the movie background, and they have requested that I wear clothes as if I’m going out, so I am sure that I will stick out because of how I look.

And here is Patrick Bateman’s Arthur’s feelings about proper grooming for women:

One of my biggest pet peeves is a girl who is not probably groomed on all parts of her body. If you are a hot girl, then it is imperative that everything is shaved, or clean to the point that there is minimal hair. I have had many experiences with beautiful women where they have been amazing looking (especially Internationally), but upon further investigation they are not properly groomed, and I have actually stopped in the middle of the act. One of the many things I notice on a girl while talking to them, and figuring out whether I am going to have them is their: nails, hair, make-up, and skin, and this will many times separate girls who are hot (8’s and 9’s) from girls who I want to take it to the next level with that night (10’s). I remember once going home with a girl from Bungalow 8 in NYC who was a 10, and when I saw her naked and ungroomed, I became so disgusted that I asked her to leave my apartment, and when she said “What’s wrong?” I told her, “I am not into the hair thing”. She told me she hadn’t been with anyone in 2 months, and wasn’t planning on anything that night, so I decided to let her stay over. That next weekend when we hung out she was totally shaved.

The reason I started thinking about this is because today while at the doctor getting my blood work taken for my blood sugar and next month of Accutane, the woman taking my blood at Quest Diagnostics had a visible mustache. I actually felt uncomfortable having her take my blood because of this, and I contemplated mentioning to her that I wanted a new nurse. I just don’t understand how in today’s age, a person, regardless of socio-economic conditions, can not make sure that they are properly groomed. I kept staring at it while she was taking my blood, especially because I hate needles, and wanted to keep my mind off of the blood coming out. She was also very mean to me when I told her that “I hate needles” and she said, “I don’t care sonny, you came here to get this done so be quiet”.

I wonder if he has a die cut, foil stamped, embossed, pop-up $4 each business card too?

(via SF Signal)

From The Telegraph:

Booksellers told The Daily Telegraph that while it is regarded in most countries as a ‘Nazi Bible’, in India it is considered a management guide in the mould of Spencer Johnson’s “Who Moved My Cheese”.

Sales of the book over the last six months topped 10,000 in New Delhi alone, according to leading stores, who said it appeared to be becoming more popular with every year.

Several said the surge in sales was due to demand from students who see it as a self-improvement and management strategy guide for aspiring business leaders, and who were happy to cite it as an inspiration.

“Students are increasingly coming in asking for it and we’re happy to sell it to them,” said Sohin Lakhani, owner of Mumbai-based Embassy books who reprints Mein Kampf every quarter and shrugs off any moral issues in publishing the book.

“They see it as a kind of success story where one man can have a vision, work out a plan on how to implement it and then successfully complete it”.

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Office Space:

Although this movie had a lot of potential it was far from reaching that potential. The sound track used Rap music that was full of nasty langauge and poor moral messages. There were totally inappropriate scenes that added absolutely nothing to the movie except perhaps offend peoples sensitivities. This movie is definately not for youger members of the family. My opinion is to just let this movie fade into the dirt where it belongs.

… Although this movie has a few moments that will bring a smile to your face (the same kind of smile you get as you pass gas), it is certainly not among the best comedic efforts of all time-…….
A much better film in the same vein would be Bruce Robinson’s HOW TO GET AHEAD IN ADVERTISING (Executively produced by George Harrison)…
Even some episodes of the Drew Carey show, and the old Mary Tyler Moore TV Series are better than this film!

I was very dissappointed with Office Space. I expected great things from this movie based on the trilers the movie seemed like an interesting concept and something most people could relate to. Needless to say, I was very disappointed. The only humor in this film are provided by two characters with about 5 minutes of screen time shared between them. I’ll just say that this movie could have been done better.

I bought this video after reading so many great reviews of it. Even coming from an office environment I found almost no really funny parts — for me the movie just dragged on and on – I kept watching waiting for it to pick up – up to the end…

What a poor satire on office culture and a poor attempt on mimicing what is so successful in the Dilbert cartoons. I heard the movie was amusing, but when I watched it, I found nothing funny about it. I had to shut the movie off after 30 minutes of trying to find a good reason to laugh.

If you value your time and money, don’t waste 10 more seconds thinking about buying this horribly bad movie. You will want to write to the producers and ask them to give you an hour and a half of your life back. This movie is a tribute to the eternal question of, “Why do people keep giving Jennifer Aniston movies?” I’m not saying that this movie is the worst one ever made, but without a doubt it comes in a very close second.

As everyone says, that 1 star is under protest. (Amazon, Why can’t you give us a choice of 0 or -1) After seeing this title and the 4+ stars in the bestsellers list, I had to try to balance this with -4. I have never seen anything more purile and insulting to our intellegence (look who’s talking, I paid money for it? ) than this load of absolute rubbish. The people who gave this any stars must have very dull and boring lives.

(more…)

All the great theologians in the Catholic Church have
denounced reason as the light furnished by the enemy of mankind –
as the road that leads to perdition. All the great Protestant
theologians, from Luther to the orthodox clergy of our time, have
been the enemies of reason. All orthodox churches of all ages have
been the enemies of science. They attacked the astronomers as
though they were criminals — the geologists as though they were
assassins. They regarded physicians as the enemies of God — as men
who were trying to defeat the decrees of Providence. The
biologists, the anthropologists, the archaeologists, the readers of
ancient inscriptions, the delvers in buried cities, were all hated
by the theologians. They were afraid that these men might find
something inconsistent with the Bible.

Robert Green Ingersoll – “Truth” (1897)