The Fast Food Job Application Prank

From Cockeyed:

Behold, the fast-food job application. One sheet, two sides, filled with questions from top to bottom.

Where did you go to high school? Did you graduate? What was your GPA? Do you have any employment experience? Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Are you willing to work overtime? What are the phone numbers of the last 10 places you worked?

They don’t need to know all this stuff. This is a job at a fast food place. They don’t reject poor students. They don’t reject potheads.

They are probably just going to hire you based on your looks, although technically, they probably want to check if you can read and write, and if you can will follow directions.

They know you will search your soul to answer every question, so they just ask everything they can think of on there.

And look! They leave a stack them right out in the open. Where diners can grab an application off of the pad. Or leave a new pad. A fake pad.

In the winter of 2008, I started noticing that all of the fast food places near work had these little acrylic application holders out in the open. So, I got to work designing a new job application, with much more entertaining questions. All I had to do was remove the spaces for “the last ten places you worked” and there was more than enough room for every question I could dream up.

To blend into any setting, I invented the fast-food conglomerate Serv-Joy. With this logo, a better name would be “GoatSe.rv-Joy”.

It was an application best described as absurd. My goal was to create questions that were ridiculous, contradictory and just a little seedy.

(via J-Walk)

You Can’t Please Everyone – The Princess Bride

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at The Princess Bride:

I’d heard much about this movie for quite a few years. About a week ago a friend finally lent me her copy to watch and I must confess that I am quite disappointed.

Now as a lightheart childrens comedy then the Princess Bride is good, but in the universal scheme of things I, not personally being a child anymore, consider it bad. The weak and ‘rubbery’ plot just didn’t do it for me, and as for the acting…

It actually reminded me of The Neverending Story (1,2&3) in style and plot. The campness just got to me in the end, I guess.

The book is so much better than this crummy movie, which is ruined by having Mandy Patinkin, Wallace Shawn, and Billy Crystal working very very very hard to be very very cute.

Silly, sentimental, and never as clever as it thinks it is. This is a movie for people who are seriously, deeply, truly moved by telephone commercials.

I have no idea what this is. This can’t be a movie because movies are supposed to be good. The story is assanine and unbelievable. The title makes no sense. What exactly is a princess bride who is named after a buttercup. I was made to watch this movie in school and it was torture. Thank you.

The Princess Bride is twenty years old, and after twenty years it’s difficult to see why anyone likes this movie. It is not realistic and most of the things that happen in the story are lies.

The Princess Bride is about two guys who are in a book and they’re fighting over a princess named Buttercup. But the problem is that one of them is a pirate and the other one is a giant! I know it’s supposed to be fictional…but come on! Even my suspension of disbelief is not that good, and I work with children!

At one point they all go in a swamp and that is pretty terrific because they have to deal with large rats, who are clearly added in digitally, but still are very thrilling. However, the rest of this movie is silly and doesn’t take any issues too seriously, but instead is too fantastical for anybody’s business.

This movie would be a lot better if it had Sean Penn in it, working with his wife, and maybe if he were solving crimes instead of swordfighting or some such nonsense. Basically, I don’t believe that Sean Penn would be swordfighting, do you?

Mandy Patinkin and Christopher Guest and Billy Crystal are wonderfully delightful in this film, that is otherwise a shamble from start to finish, and my guess is that whoever wrote the movie will probably never get offered another job before or after this movie.

If this bedtime story were read to me, I would want to wake up and find out that it was all a dream and instead that somebody was going to read me the script of “P.S. I Love You”

the labyrinth is better, but since it is out of print, this can be a poor substitute

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