Get Cynical

From our Curly Inquisitor, Abbi:

Besides chocolate and peanut butter, what are two great tastes that taste great together?

I’ve always had a fondness for Nutella and chocolate pop-tarts (washed down with a tall ice cold glass of chocolate milk) but I haven’t had that in years since I want to at least reach my 40th birthday. What say you Cynics?

I wonder if the test will be true/false, essays, or something a bit more interactive:

THE Melbourne Catholic Church has embraced a Vatican recommendation to test potential priests for sexual orientation.

Under the guidelines, potential priests who “appear” to be gay must be banned.

The head of the Vatican committee that made the recommendations has made it clear celibate gays should also be banned because homosexuality is ‘‘a type of deviation’’.

Archdiocese of Melbourne spokesman James O’Farrell confirmed Carlton’s Corpus Christi Catholic seminary had started adhering to the guidelines, but refused to comment further.

I apologize in advance for this video.

(via Everything is Terrible)

I should quit blogging for the day since there won’t be a link that tops this.

What the Star Wars would look like if it was the Dallas TV-series Since it was made with Star Trek it was about time there was a Star Wars version as well!

(via Boing Boing)

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Are You Experienced:

Words cannot describe my intense dislike for Jimi’s guitar “skills”. This guy is a HACK. All songs sound exactly the same, the drummer is weak, does the bassist even exist? Listen to some REAL music that actually requires talent- like Nickelback!

Are you kidding me. Did Avril Lavigne ever use distortion in her songs? Or how about those wierd sound effect things? Mmhhm, that’s whqat I thought. Keeping that in mind, how could anyone in their right mind say that this Hendrix guy is good. You lozerz obviously now nothing about muzik. Some idiots are calling him the best guitar player ever….? HELLO??? That’s like saying MTV doesn’t play good muzik!!! If you want good guitar, try Avril Lavigne, or, the masters of Metal, Limp Bizkit.

I bought this disc based on all the reviews claiming it’s the greatest guitar album ever. I was very dissapointed, most of the solos suck. Plus, I was surprised that MTV didnt play any videos from this album, I wonder why? Probebly cause the MTV crowd know this music is tired and boring. If you want great guitar listen to Good Charlotte.

I first picked this album up because I heard Hendrix played some heavy, rockin music. But all this album is is a bunch of blues tunes that go nowhere. His solos are just a bunch of noise and his sound is dated, unlike good bands like Great White and Skid Row. Not recommended for fans of good heavy metal.

Jimi Hendrix has to be the most over rated guitarist ever! Not only does his songs make no sense, but he can’t solo to save his life! I’m sick and tired of these retro wannabes saying how fabulous he is!

For good guitaring check out Limp Bizkit, Nickelback, Disturbed, Korn, Kid Rock, Staind, Creed, and Metallica’s St Anger Album.

Oh, and Lenny Kravitz is GOD compared to this rip off!

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Every man should have the courage to give his honest thought.
This makes the finder and publisher of truth a public benefactor.


Those who prevent, or try to prevent, the expression of honest
thought, are the foes of civilization — the enemies of truth.
Nothing can exceed the egotism and impudence of the man who claims
the right to express his thought and denies the same right to
others.

Robert Green Ingersoll – “Truth” (1897)

Saw W. this weekend and it would have been a good film if it wasn’t so damn implausible. I mean, does Oliver Stone really expect us to believe that a spoiled doofus manchild alcoholic failure who can’t utter a single grammatically correct sentence could actually become President of the United States, surround himself with sycophants and start a preemptive war with a country on the flimsiest of intelligence while almost becoming the first president to assassinate himself using a pretzel?

Nice try Mr. Stone. Nice try.

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Pulp Fiction:

I have heard alot about this movie from my friends but when I actually saw this movie I realized this was the worst movie I have ever watched in a long time. At least you can’t expect such a lousy movie from such a great cast.

QUENTIN TARENTINO WORKED IN A VIDEO STORE IN YOUNGER YEARS.
HE “STEALS” PEOPLES IDEAS AND CALLS THEM HIS OWN.
IT IS CALLED PLADGERISM, FOLKS!
I COULD NAME 35 OTHER MOVIES HE STOLE TO MAKE THIS S..T ON CELLULOID.
IT ABSOLUTELY APPALLS ME TO THINK GULLABLE PEOPLE CAN’T RECONGNIZE THE FILMS THAT ARE RIPPED OFF IN THIS WRECK!
IF THEY ARE MOVIE BUFFS, THEY SHOULD KNOW THAT THIS LINE IS FROM THIS MOVIE, AND THAT SCENE WAS BODILY STOLEN FROM THAT FILM………BUT NO. THEY END UP SAYING, “WOW, MAN, THIS DUDE CAN REALLY WRITE, LOOK HOW “ORIGINAL” THIS IS”.
YEAH, YOU JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELVES THAT, TARANTINO FOLLOWERS.
3 FILMS, [GO -- 2 DAYS IN THE VALLEY -- and THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOUR DEAD ] ARE BETTER, SMARTER, AND A LOT MORE ORIGINAL THAN THIS JUNK!!!!!

PULP FICTION has to be one of the most disgusting and overrated film of this decade. Pretentious camera angles and dialogue, mangled pacing and another bad performance by the tremendously under-talented Bruce Willis made this film difficult for me to watch. As for the use of the “N” word, I wonder what Tarantino would do if Spike Lee made a movie where Italians were called nasty names, and I think there are plenty. You don’t get to use the word sir – you ain’t a member of the club. His subsequent efforts may not have been as lurid, but are equally as bad.

This movie had poor taste. I didn’t like how it tried to be too original. I want a movie I can read from cover to cover. This one jumped around all over the place. It wasn’t funny, no suspense, lack of action, didn’t flow, dark film. This movie shouldn’t have been made.

I know there are a lot of technical terms associated with a movie production like screenplay, direction, plot, acting, etc. Unfortunately I don’t know the definitions of most of them. One thing that is pretty basic to me, though, is a “point”. Usually there is some kind of point to a movie, good guy verses bad guy, she loves him, he loves her, may the force be with you, etc., but the point of this movie totally escapes me. It’s THE most pointless movie I have ever seen. When it was done I felt like the trapeze artist who swung out to meet the person on the other trapeze and he wasn’t there. I was also amazed that someone could make a movie where 90% of the dialogue consists of 4-letter words, the same 4-letter words. I know this movie has a following, but I’m not one of the followers.

WHAT KIND OF MORON MADE THIS MOVIE. WAS HE ON CRACK! THIS MOVIE DOESN’t HAVE A PLOT, A STORYLINE, AND IT DOESN’T EVEN HAPPEN IN SEQUENCE. THE END OF THE MOVIE WAS IN THE BEGINNING? WHAT? I SLEPT THROUGH HALF THE MOVIE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE THIS MOVIE.

This has to be one of the most overrated films in history. I believe that most people who said that they liked this piece of garbage only did so because they wanted to sound hip and cool. Many did not see Tarintino’s previous films but were told how hip and cool these films were and so by the time Pulp Fiction was released they went to see it so that they could “jump on the bandwagon”. Tarintino is trying to make mindless violence “trendy”. There is no real plot to this picture and the characters are all obnoxious. It seems that for a film to be considered a masterpiece nowadays, it must contain weird situations and violent obnoxious characters. Because this film was so popular it is a sad commentary of the times we live in.

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From Flickr:

Welcome to Astoria, Oregon! Here is a special photo set which documents the 20th Anniversary weekend celebration of the movie, “The Goonies” in June 2005.

Over 1000 fans travelled from all over the world to visit movie locations, meet the following cast members, “Chunk” Jeff Cohen, “Mr Perkins” Curt Hanson and “Mikey” Sean Astin, watch the movie on the big screen and hang out with other Goonie fans.