Get Cynical

From Alas, a Blog:

Longtime “Alas” community member Jake Squid sent me this. Jake’s workplace recently installed hand scanners, which replace the old punch-card system for workers checking in and out of work. (The advantage for the company is, you can’t ask a friend to scan your hand for you).

The company that manufactures the hand-scanning system gave Jake’s employer this letter, to reproduce and distribute to their employees.

(Thanks Natalie)

From AOL News:

Ads proclaiming, “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake,” will appear on Washington, D.C., buses starting next week and running through December. The American Humanist Association unveiled the provocative $40,000 holiday ad campaign Tuesday.

From WYFF4.com:

GREENVILLE, S.C. — A Greenville priest says that his parishioners should do penance if they voted for Barack Obama.

The Rev. Jay Scott Newman, priest at St. Mary’s Catholic Church, said that his congregants shouldn’t take Communion until they do penance for supporting “the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president.”

But Newman also said that church law doesn’t allow him to refuse parishioners the sacrament.

(via J-Walk)

From Listverse:

The words “Last picture taken” before his or her death conjure up many emotions, whether in front of the camera or behind it. This list consists of 10 last time stamps in history taken of and by some fascinating individuals.

(via J-Walk)

And I’m pretty sure we’re just scratching the surface of Palin’s ineptitude:

Cameron, the Fox beat reporter for the Republican presidential ticket, said he had been told by unnamed sources — and on the condition he not report the details during the campaign — that Palin could not name all of the countries that are part of the North American Free Trade Agreement.

He did not mention which one (or ones) she whiffed on, but there are only three: Canada, the U.S. and Mexico.

Nor, according to Cameron, was Palin aware that Africa is a continent.

Update:

I apologize for posting something I found on Fox News as factual information:

It was among the juicier post-election recriminations: Fox News Channel quoted an unnamed McCain campaign figure as saying that Sarah Palin did not know that Africa was a continent.

Who would say such a thing? On Monday the answer popped up on a blog and popped out of the mouth of David Shuster, an MSNBC anchor. “Turns out it was Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain policy adviser, who has come forward today to identify himself as the source of the leaks,” Mr. Shuster said.

Trouble is, Martin Eisenstadt doesn’t exist. His blog does, but it’s a put-on. The think tank where he is a senior fellow — the Harding Institute for Freedom and Democracy — is just a Web site. The TV clips of him on YouTube are fakes.

And the claim of credit for the Africa anecdote is just the latest ruse by Eisenstadt, who turns out to be a very elaborate hoax that has been going on for months. MSNBC, which quickly corrected the mistake, has plenty of company in being taken in by an Eisenstadt hoax, including The New Republic and The Los Angeles Times.

A gallery of female bodybuilders.

(via Clusterflock)

Another question from Abbi who is earning the highly respected albeit low paying (I pay in Lehman Bros. stock) Cynical Inquisitor General title:

What is the one food (besides bacon) you cannot buy because you will eat it all in one sitting?

I don’t even know how to pronounce the name but Mrs. C brings home some kind of chocolate cookie from Paris that I’m addicted to.

If they sold those cookies in the States I would be living on the streets begging for loose change to get my next fix of Biscuits fourres Cacao croustillants. In fact, I was secretly hoping that McCain would win the election so that I could move to Paris in a grandiose fashion by declaring that I no longer wanted to be part of a warmongering nation. But it would have been just for the cookies.

Answers to all your questions about dinosaurs from ChristianAnswers.net:

When did animals begin to kill and eat other animals?

Animal Hunter After the Flood, God gave people official permission to kill animals for food and eat them. Man could now eat everything, green plants and animals (Genesis 9:2,3). This means that people from Noah’s family could have eaten dinosaurs, if they tasted good.

But God told the animals (including dinosaurs) that they should not kill people. If they did, they would have to answer to God for it (Genesis 9:5b).

Tiger At the same time, the Bible does not say that animals were forbidden to kill other animals in this new world. God does not repeat his command, here or later, that animals are to eat plants. So, it could be that the end of the flood marks the time when land animals and birds began to develop the habit of killing for food. Or, it might just be the time when these habits started to become common.

Did any dinosaurs ever become terrible and ferocious?

The answer to this question remains a mystery. At this point, there is no proof that any of the dinosaurs were as mean and dangerous as shown in most dinosaur books. It will take many more discoveries before anyone can say for certain how dinosaurs behaved in the world before the Flood or after. However it is likely that more people killed dinosaurs than dinosaurs killed people.

Bible-believing Christians can be sure of one thing. When dinosaurs were originally created, they were peaceful and harmless just like all the other animals.

(via Unreasonable Faith)