1. Sometimes I wonder if there’s enough militant Christian fascists in this country to support a Pinochet-style junta in the likely event that Obama wins. My gut says no, but seeing things like this, now I’m not so sure.

  2. I now feel completely despondent. I want someone to build me a big, underground vault and fill it with kittens.

    Fuck this planet.

  3. Well, if the God of Christianity has shown us one thing, it’s that he loves to be tested and loves to cater to the whims of his people whether or not it’s for the greater good.
    Oh- wait- nope, no he doesn’t. Sorry angry pastor guy.

    Maybe at this point it’s a contest to see which side gets the most prayers? Pray, democrats, pray!

  4. Stuff like this kills me. Hey fundies:
    1) If the Christian God is the One True God, what would be the point of showing himself as bigger than other (fictional) gods?
    2) If the Christian God is mightier than any other, why would he need to show that?
    3) If the Christian God is mightier than any other, why would his followers need to ask him to show that?
    4) If the Christian God is all-knowing and all-powerful, why would he need a prayer from his followers to exert his will?
    5) If the Christian God is all-knowing and all-powerful, why would he have allowed the weakest Republican candidate in recent memory to get the nomination?
    6) If the Christian God is all-knowing and all-powerful, why would his will be constrained by something as contrived as a political election?
    7) If the Christian God is all-knowing and all-powerful, how could “his” candidate’s opponent present any threat?

    And that’s just the stuff that occurs to me off the top of my head. This would be funny if it weren’t so sad and scary.

  5. Chris, I don’t think you post enough stories about faithful readers whose comments are shit-canned into the spam filter. What about them, huh? What about them?

    This is the last time I read this site.

  6. Hey Chris – I’m a Christian, I love your blog, and am embarrassed by this. All I can say is, Jesus lambasted the “righteous” people of his day. Whatever one says about him and his identity, he hated this crap.

  7. Psst…Pastor Conrad! I have to tell you something. It’s (shh) about God’s reputation. Yeah, it’s not going so well for him, I know. It’s slipping and a bad repuation- how could God EVER live that down. I know why, though. It’s those people hanging around God. People like you. Back off, will ya? And quit putting words in his mouth, okay? He comes off looking like a tightass whose moods seem to change on a whim. Don’t be confusing God with McCain, mkay?

  8. i am sure god is completely content with his penis size. he doesn’t need mccain in office to show it off. besides, mccain would make his balls look all shrively and nobody likes a god with shrively balls.

  9. Let us not forget that church is very strong in the black community and so is their support for Obama. Therefore, the message is also that the white people must elect McCain to prevent the black God from answering all of the prayers for Obama’s election.

    I once heard a democrat commenting on black republican Alan Keys say that a minority joining the republican party is like a deer joing the NRA.

  10. “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me …”

    Doesn’t even the acknowledgement of other gods constitute a violation of this commandment?

    Time for a good old-fashioned stoning!

  11. Actually what you have there is a relic of polytheistic paganism that was practiced at the time of the old testiment being written down. Doesn’t get talked about a lot but what “Big G” was saying was that it was OK to have other gods, so long as he was the undisputed #1. This commandment probably pre-dates the Jews and it has just been picked up intact. There are numerous clues to paganism in the old testiment.

  12. an all powerful deity shouldn’t be concerned with reputation, but whatever, i guess a lot of the problems we have religious types is their overwhelming ego.

    …and uh… allah is the same god by a different name, isnt he? isnt the only real difference between muslims and christians god the prophet through which they praise it/him?

  13. Sufis—whether: muslim, jew, christian, or atheist–aver that there is only one God/Reality.

    Pagan’s i.e. countryfolk, tend to see their God as local and struggling to survive without prope care and attention (bit like a crop)

  14. dear god: i know you are all-knowing and all-seeing and all-powerful and everything. and you’re never wrong. ever. but, you know, just thought i should remind you that you’re going to look like a huge pussy if mccain loses this thing. that’s all.

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