We’re All Qualified to be Vice President Now

Little Diomede Island (Big Diomede, which is part of Russia, is in the background)

Look, you CAN see Russia from an island that’s part of Alaska. From this vantage point I can see Russia’s 58th Army moving into South Ossetia!

Oops, it wasn’t Russia’s 58th Army but just a caribou. SHOOT IT!)


  1. My first plan is to support a bridge and then change my stance. Of course I will keep all of the money though….for my troubles.

    Then, let’s see…..have a shit ton of kids so I can be “real” for my peeps. Because let’s face it, people that can relate to me because I shuffle kids to and from hockey practice will totally understand when I fuck up my foreign policy plan. Hey Russia…can you see me? I’m totally waving outside of my window here in Alaska. Yeah…you can see me.

    Oh yeah, I will PUT a big ass plane on ebay and never sell it. This will totally make super bad ass and people will have made love and respect for me. I will win the hearts of millions. What? Apparently this has be done before. Really? People bought that?

    Well I’m all about fucking change that’s for sure. Word.

  2. I’ve read quite a bit of Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Gogol, so now my experience with Russia outweighs Palin’s. Guaran-fucking-tee she never read The Brothers Karamazov. But I’ve seen a Russian island.

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