I’m Only Going to Say this Once

I get email:

Re: Unsolicited comment from the peanut gallery

Dear Chris,

I enjoy your blog and, hey, it’s your blog so do with it as you will… just thought I’d give you feedback that I’m among those who think it’s gotten too political lately. There are a billion political blogs out there and to turn yours into another one dilutes what was so grand about it. Yours was/is unique and a different animal and I hope you’ll return to what made it so special before this election campaign cycle began.

Best regards,

My response:

Dear Steve,

Fuck off.


No seriously Steve. Fuck off. Stop visiting this blog. You’re sucking up bandwidth and I’m sick of paying thousands of dollars a year for Steve’s entertainment. I checked his email address to see how often he contributed or commented to this site and wasn’t surprised to find one comment. It’s always the people who contribute the least who are the ones that complain the most. I get complaints like this all the time. Dear Chris, I think your blog has too many videos… Dear Chris, I think your blog has too many pictures of cats… Dear Chris, you post too much about atheism etc etc.

This blog has always been and always will remain a reflection of what interests me at any given day. Is that self-indulgent? Of course it is. It’s a blog! I’m not going to cease posting what interests me because some asshat thinks he’s entitled to have a blog catered to his whims.


And I’m not the only blogger getting these types of emails.

  • heaven forbid I ever email you and you search for my email address. I think i’ve used about 15 or 20 of them on this site, because I have my office computer set to clear everything when I close the browser, and I can never remember what email I use here.

    that being said, how dare you put content that interests you up on your own blog. don’t you know that the internet masses demand you post items that is directly selected just for their interests?

  • Stove

    Dear Chris,

    I enjoy your blog and, hey, it’s your blog so do with it as you will… just thought I’d give you feedback that I’m among those (read as: the only one) who think it’s gotten too busy and high traffic here. There are a billion other popular blogs out there and to turn yours into another one, it dilutes what was so grand about it. Yours was/is unique and a different animal and I hope you’ll return to what made it so special before you switched your server host and made it load faster.

    Best regards,

  • henry f.

    I agree with the last commenter. OUR interests are obviously what count most on your personal blog. I went to Las Vegas once a few years ago and had a mediocre time, therefore I demand, DEMAND that you lose interest in that city and never speak of it again. Also I got a flat tire in Lansing, Illinois once so you should probably never talk about that town either.

  • Dear Chris

    How fucking dare you post what you want on your own blog. How dare you use your personal blog to post about things YOU like and that interest YOU! The unmitigated GALL of it! Every occasional/casual visitor should be UP IN ARMS over this OUTRAGE. Steve has every right to COMPLAIN about the free entertainment you provide and to make demands about the content.



  • I’m one for applauding righteous indignation. You GO CHRIS!
    I view a blog as being akin to a diary and nobody can tell you what to put in your diary. Okay, it’s a weird diary that allows comments … hell my sister would have been pissed if I left comments in her diary.

    Bob the mul says:
    “Jennifer: stop talking about politics and put in your diary more stories on how you stole vodka from Mum and Dad’s drinks cabinet, please”.

    Damn, I’m going to see if I can find my sister’s diary now!

  • Does anyone else think that Chris posts too many stories about email he receives?

  • It’s going to be difficult maintaining an indignant demeanor if you guys are just going to make me laugh.

  • deepsea33

    Well, if i ran this blog, oh, wait…

  • Stove

    I think I’ve won twice today…

    Not only am I going to keep that text and adapt it as needed. But I think I’ve found my new screen name.

    Best Regards,

  • What about a question of the day?:

    If I ran Cynical-C I would post more…..

    *Bob gets BOO’d off the internet*

  • twebe

    This is a totally kick-ass blog. It has the gamut of opinions and and interests. I love it! The articles that don’t interest me I skip over. Who is this ass that even bothered to email you? Why would anyone in their right mind even waste time reading a blog that they didn’t like? Keep this blog just as it is! This is one small slice of sanity in this totally screwy country!

  • That’s an anger sandwich, man.
    You did open Comments to everyone, though. You gotta expect to get some negative ones.
    And you have every right to tell him to fuck off.
    I know, I’ve commented on how the atheism gets preachy and the ad for meeting your meat that always ruins my lunch and how
    I know, I’m fucking off right now.

  • @Levi

    Comments are open on every post and people are free to voice their opinion whether they agree or disagree.

    The issue is that he didn’t want me to post certain topics or at least to scale them back. I have no problem with people disagreeing with any particular post but I do have a problem when I am told what I can or can’t post.

    Maybe that’s a subtle difference but it’s an important one.

  • Stove

    Did the “Family Feud, Play Now” advertisement make it on this comment section by coincidence or are you having fun with us?

  • “Fuck off”

    And, having spoken, the destroyer of worlds parts.

    I love it, and what’s this image option for your comments? I must investigate further.

  • dia

    dear chris, please know that your reply to steve really knocked my socks off. my face is still melting from laughing so hard.
    thanks for that.
    yours truly,

  • @Mercury, Scroll down a bit. I posted an explanation about the new feature last night.


    my face is still melting from laughing so hard.

    Melting? Sounds more like someone kicked off the cover of the ark of the covenant. KEEP YOUR EYES SHUT. DON”T LOOK AT IT!

  • Aww, come on Chris… can’t you say it twice? Why only once?

  • Jeff

    You pay thousands of dollars for this site?

    Doe it pay for itself?

  • Valeria

    Well, Chris, I’d **really, really** appreciate it if you bowed to *my* demands:


  • Verdugo

    You just keep doing your thing, especially telling the haters to fuck off.

  • Loudermilk

    I could not agree more with the ridiculous bias this “Cynical” site has become.

    “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
    – Bertrand Russell

    No need to beat me up about it – Although you will (because it makes you feel superior). I won’t be back. Cheers!

  • lumpi

    As your senior political advisor, I’d suggest ignoring these kinds of emails altogether, since they are a web 0.1 version of forum-trolling. You just gave Steve a platform he didn’t deserve.

    I guess all of the more personal blogs are showing their political face these days. Hell, even BoingBoing is posting DailyShow-clips making fun of the RNC all day long.

  • @lumpi,

    I know, I know… But every so often I like sharing with readers what kind of emails I get.

  • drea

    Steve, don’t complain just because you secretly are Sarah Palin.

  • Natalie

    Dear Chris,

    I think that I need to give you some constructive criticism so that you don’t become just another sheep on the blogherd, because I look to you to solve every and all of my problems and desires: You need more gray cats on Tuesdays, and less sentences ending with exclamation points on Thursdays at 2:35pm. I also want to see more placenta recipes and videos that match up with “The Darkside of the Moon” cd. If you could also give away a free bag of popcorn for when you post reader mail it would be awesome. Thank you, please drive through.

  • Angry Sam

    Yeah, and while you’re at it, could we have a little more about Amy Winehouse’s drug problems?

  • Darkened Rei

    Oh, I was the chick that thought there were too many cats. 😀

    That’s okay though, I forgive me.

  • echolalia

    I quite like it when you post pics/videos of cats. If I see something that doesn’t interest me, I just scroll pass it.

  • If sarcasm was outlawed, I think I would die…seriously.

  • j4ck

    You should stop posting that Obama stuff it’s going to be quite embarassing when he starts murdering people all around the world.
    Less Obama more Cats. 😉

  • nickk

    I think you took that post about the cinder blocks a little too seriously.

    Not to toot my own horn, but I really don’t like cats and I still read your blog. How tolerant I am !!! yeah, me!

  • j4ck

    +i thought the dog on the trampoline was a highlight in this blogs glorious history.

  • Amanda

    Holy carp, you have an opinion that doesn’t line up with someone else’s?


    Become and Opino-bot nao!

  • Anthropomorphic Atheist cats talking about politics is what I hope to see more of.

  • maybe if you could find some grand hidden archive of videos of atheist cats who look like sarah palin then you can narrow your posts down to one a day and give yourself lots of free time to sip on tea and play bingo.

  • McGee

    Dear Chris,

    You smell.



  • nick beat me by 8 minutes. solidification of all blog themes into one giant, fire breathing beast. its all we ask for.

  • orangefall

    I think we need a pictorial timeline of britney spears…and monster truck videos…and ponies.


    yes…. even the awkward times when people don’t understand and get offended…. or stare at you…

  • I think you need to post more recipes! After all, I come here for the food. Where is it!!!??? ; )

  • Here! Cats & Politicians…


  • LOL @ Stove.

    Well I have a post for Friday cat blogging now.

  • I get complaints all the time, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. Sometimes I offer them their money back…

    One thing I love about blogging for a living is that at all three of the other sites I work for, the webmasters side with me over a reader -always. That NEVER happened in radio. Management would rather lose an experienced announcer anyday than have one dissatisfied listener. The internet is much cooler!

  • gorckat

    Dear Chris,

    Your site is one of the white-listed by my AdBlock. I’ve clicked an ad or two. Maybe three, but I was drunk that night.

    Always yours,

  • MaTa

    Chris I TOTALLY love your bl0g. . . .B U T (lol). . . needs more cowbell. . . . . 😉

  • Ack


    Love the ‘fuck off’ response…classic!

    You have been keeping me sane with your blog for the past several fucked up political years, now that my governor is VP candidate it is crucial that you post more of the frightful polly BS that is spewing daily from the right, got it? Now cater, damit.

    And what the others want too, like free popcorn and more cowbells, britany, and Dark Side video synchro clips.

    Peace from Fairbanks

  • HomoLudens

    Hey! I’m a lurker, a non-American and still enjoy the American Elections(TM). What’s wrong with some people…?;)

  • JON


    Ya Steve…fuck off you douchebag!

    Must be a McCain supporter!


  • io


    “It’s always the people who contribute the least who are the ones that complain the most.”

    I resent this! I’ve contributed nothing at all and I haven’t complained once!! Except now, but I don’t really mean it, so I’m not really complaining.

    So, keep up the good work!


  • Marlea

    Chris you are so insensitive to the wants and needs of others. SuperSillySteve should have included what he would like to see; as a mere suggestion as to what you should be blogging about to please him, not what draws in your loyal readers.

    Although you shouldn’t worry, after all Cynikitty will kick everyone arse.

  • Josh

    Proactively posting this so that when I complain about something, Chris will see that I commented at least one time.

    Also, fuck off.

  • Leo

    YOU PEOPLE ARE COMMENTING TOO MUCH. stop commenting. there are many other blogs about comments. I am not interested in your comments.

  • What a beautiful, Zen Master put-down.

    That’s one less cretin with an Authoritarian-Follower Personality Disorder sucking on your pipe.


  • b

    Little mean.

  • Mke

    I, a while back asked you to post less pics of cats and to get rid of Friday cat blogging, Holy crap Chris you are right this is your Blog and it SHOULD be a reflection of your interest, I apologize, I love this blog, keep up the great work.

    I really do love cats 🙂