Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain

Finally, a reason to make an atheistic pilgrimage.

DAYTON, TN—A steady stream of devoted evolutionists continued to gather in this small Tennessee town today to witness what many believe is an image of Charles Darwin—author of The Origin Of Species and founder of the modern evolutionary movement—made manifest on a concrete wall in downtown Dayton.

“I brought my baby to touch the wall, so that the power of Darwin can purify her genetic makeup of undesirable inherited traits,” said Darlene Freiberg, one among a growing crowd assembled here to see the mysterious stain, which appeared last Monday on one side of the Rhea County Courthouse. The building was also the location of the famed “Scopes Monkey Trial” and is widely considered one of Darwinism’s holiest sites. “Forgive me, O Charles, for ever doubting your Divine Evolution. After seeing this miracle of limestone pigmentation with my own eyes, my faith in empirical reasoning will never again be tested.”

Added Freiberg, “Behold the power and glory of the scientific method!”

But not everybody agrees:

“It’s a stain on a wall, and nothing more,” said the Rev. Clement McCoy, a professor at Oral Roberts University and prominent opponent of evolutionary theory. “Anything else is the delusional fantasy of a fanatical evolutionist mindset that sees only what it wishes to see in the hopes of validating a baseless, illogical belief system. I only hope these heretics see the error of their ways before our Most Powerful God smites them all in His vengeance.”

(Thanks Jason)

14 Comments

  1. AAAHAHAHAHA! Love it. AeC, you can drive with me. It’d be suitable seeing as I have a Darwin fish on my car. We’d be like evolutionary groupies. If I’d been around as his contemporary, he’s be the rock star I would have flung my knickers at, that’s for sure.

  2. I have to say how charming it is that the stain bears as much resemblance to Darwin as the average Virgin Mary/Jesus/St. Whomever bears to them. Quite appropriate.

  3. I remember that stain… it used to resemble the Blessed Virgin Mary, and then via some lengthy, natural process it evolved into the image of Jesus. Eventually it acquired this new, more advanced appearance.

  4. “It’s a stain on a wall, and nothing more,” said the Rev. Clement McCoy, a professor at Oral Roberts University and prominent opponent of evolutionary theory. “Anything else is the delusional fantasy of a fanatical evolutionist mindset that sees only what it wishes to see in the hopes of validating a baseless, illogical belief system.

    ,,,But of course Christianity is SO much better.”

    What an idiot.

Comments are closed.