God Hates Everyone Except For Us

Watch out Westboro Baptists. There’s a new church in town:

The Eastboro Baptists are the only true followers of God’s word! Everyone else WILL be damned to burn in eternal Hell fire!

We do not need scripture to verify this statement. We have heard it from God himself! Repent! (everyone else but us) For you have sinned! You have been born different from us, and this is an abomination unto God for which your souls WILL be damned!

God hates EVERYONE except the Eastboro Baptists. This includes FAGS, black people, every other race except white people, fat people, unattractive people, cancer patients, children, babies, Mexicans, Swedes, Norwegians, Scandinavia in general, non-Americans, all other Americans except us, immigrants (illegal and legal), feminists, liberals, aborted fetus’ (for they have committed the ultimate sin), the cognitively disabled, deaf people, blind people, scientists, Darwin, environmentalists, Al Gore, Jews, Catholics, Evangelicals, Mormons, Muslims (except for the ones who hate the U.S.), Musselman’s Applesauce, people who follow any religion other than our imaginative version of Christianity, citizens of whatever town we happen to be picketing in, victims of any tragedy that makes the national news and their family and friends, kittens, etc. — You are all sinners in the eyes of the almighty God!