Pulp Shakespeare

This just makes me so happy:

ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

V: And know’st thou what the French name cottage pie?
J: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
V: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
J: What say they then, pray?
V: Hachis Parmentier.
J: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
V: Cream is but cream, only they say la crème.
J: What do they name black pudding?
V: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

And Metafilter jumps into the breach, dear friends:

Take pains thou leav’st the gun upon the seat;
take too those pastries we are soon to eat.

My fellow abbot whom I’m soon to break.
My drainage hath consumed your whole milkshake.

Z: Summon thee forth The Gimp.
M: Alas, my liege, The Gimp lay in slumber.
Z: What ho! Methinks thee must surely arouse him, say thee nay?

Question for the Class

From Cogitamus:

Do you think if Barack Obama had left his seriously ill wife after having had multiple affairs, had been a member of the “Keating Five,” had had a relationship with a much younger lobbyist that his staff felt the need to try and block, had intervened on behalf of the client of said young lobbyist with a federal agency, had denounced then embraced Jerry Falwell, had denounced then embraced the Bush tax cuts, had confused Shiite with Sunni, had confused Al Qaeda in Iraq with the Mahdi Army, had actively sought the endorsement and appeared on stage with a man who denounced the Catholic Church as a whore, and stated that he knew next to nothing about economics — do you think it’s possible that Obama would have been treated differently by the media than John McCain has been? Possible?

Sochi, Russia’s Subtropical Resort City

From English Russia:

All people know Russia is a Northern country with snow, frost, cold winter. All keep in mind pictures of taiga, Siberia, polar bears and vodka. Well, it’s all true, we all know now that 65% of Russia is covered with permafrost, but there is one fact than less people know. Russia has a territory that is located more to South than Milano, Nice, Monte Carlo and other places of European South. And this territory occupies more square than France or Germany. Meet Sochi, the Winter Olympics 2014 host. This Russia doesn’t look like Russia at all, maybe the next place for your vacation?