Things He Will do for Money

You pay him and he’ll travel for you so you can get that all important picture of the sky from St. Helena or something like that.

If you give me $1,626 I will go to the small Okinawan island called Iriomote and send you an envelope filled with star-sand (don’t worry, I’ve been there before, I know where to go). I will send it from there.

If you give me $30 I will walk around New York, and the first homeless person I see I will buy him or her whatever he or she wants to eat (as long as it is less than $30). I will mail you back the exact change (minus the paypal fee and the cost of the postage stamp) with the receipt for the food and the name of the person who ate it.

If you give me $400 I will take a train to a desolate area with a packed lunch and sit down and read Anna Karenina. I will do this for 6-10 hours. I will repeat the same thing the following days until I have finally read the entire book. Finally! I am only going to do this once, so this is an edition of one only. I will send you documentation of this from the closest mailbox to where I do this. I’ll also write the location of the mailbox on the envelope if you ever wish to go to where I will have sent it to you from.


  1. I think the idea is interesting, but he would easily raise more money if the stuff he “sold” was more degrading and painful, like eating a maggot infested cheese, or streak across the town of your choice.
    Also, I don’t like the 1$/minute rate for his thoughts. I mean, sure, if it were Stephen Hawking thinking about me, I’d gladly pay him $1 a minute, because he has quality thoughts. I’d possibly give that guy a penny for his thoughts.

  2. If you give me $5 I will write rambling, opportunistic articles on my blog. The articles will be about all kinds of relevant news topics and current social, political, and human interest subjects. Really, really crazy things.

    I will also blog for food.

Comments are closed.