Christians Against Cartoons

I can’t tell the difference between religious nuttery and satire so you’re on your own in judging if this is real:

Hello Concerned Christians. Our organization is revealing the evil faces behind our children’s beloved CARTOONS. Often as parents, we trust that our children are being exposed to innocent programming when it comes in the form or animation- DON’T BE FOOLED. There are many examples of the evil one at work on our TV’s. Join our organization in the Crusade against cartoons that compromise our society’s moral fiber.

Although this almost has to be satire….. right? Can I get an Amen?

Susanna, a concerned Christian, recently wrote into Christians Against Cartoons with the following question:
Hi there – maybe you can help me. My Christian neighbor says that Hello Kitty isn’t good for her daughter’s spirit. I’ve searched the Internet to find out why. Can you tell me why or post on your site? Thank you.

Well Susanna, I would really like to thank you for asking this for allowing your child to accumulate a menagerie of Hello Kitty dolls is akin to when the Hebrews, after having just been led out of their bondage in Egypt by Moses, decided to mimic their former Egyptian slave masters and worship a calf cast from purest gold! As it says in Deuteronomy 9:16: “And I looked, and behold, you had sinned against the Lord your God–had made for yourselves a molded calf! You had turned aside quickly from the way which the Lord had commanded you.”

It is by no mere coincidence that Hello Kitty herself resembles the cat-headed Sekhmet, the Egyptian sun goddess of destruction! There are also strong resemblances between Hello Kitty and the Lower Nile love goddess Bast. Often cats and cat idols were entombed in the burial chambers of the Pharaohs for the cat had a deep mystical significance to these pagan slave drivers.

Permitting your child to lie in a bed covered in Hello Kitty dolls, you are allowing her to lie in a mock Egyptian burial chamber! This seemingly harmless fascination with these dolls can lead your child down the path of the occult. The so-called “goth” teens who paint their faces to resemble corpses and worship death are also often seen with Hello Kitty memorabilia and stickers incongruously affixed to their usually black attire. This is because these poor, misguided youngsters who have given their eternal souls over to the darkness, know the masked meaning of these cuddly idols. The Hello Kitty, the ChocoCat, The Badtz Maru are just sugar coated stand-ins for Sekhmet, the Anubis and Ra. These are the same gods that The Lord cast down into the sulfur pit of hell and made into demons! Their power, which allowed Ramses to turn his staff into a serpent, cannot be underestimated today.