Christians Against Cartoons

I can’t tell the difference between religious nuttery and satire so you’re on your own in judging if this is real:

Hello Concerned Christians. Our organization is revealing the evil faces behind our children’s beloved CARTOONS. Often as parents, we trust that our children are being exposed to innocent programming when it comes in the form or animation- DON’T BE FOOLED. There are many examples of the evil one at work on our TV’s. Join our organization in the Crusade against cartoons that compromise our society’s moral fiber.

Although this almost has to be satire….. right? Can I get an Amen?

Susanna, a concerned Christian, recently wrote into Christians Against Cartoons with the following question:
Hi there – maybe you can help me. My Christian neighbor says that Hello Kitty isn’t good for her daughter’s spirit. I’ve searched the Internet to find out why. Can you tell me why or post on your site? Thank you.

Well Susanna, I would really like to thank you for asking this for allowing your child to accumulate a menagerie of Hello Kitty dolls is akin to when the Hebrews, after having just been led out of their bondage in Egypt by Moses, decided to mimic their former Egyptian slave masters and worship a calf cast from purest gold! As it says in Deuteronomy 9:16: “And I looked, and behold, you had sinned against the Lord your God–had made for yourselves a molded calf! You had turned aside quickly from the way which the Lord had commanded you.”

It is by no mere coincidence that Hello Kitty herself resembles the cat-headed Sekhmet, the Egyptian sun goddess of destruction! There are also strong resemblances between Hello Kitty and the Lower Nile love goddess Bast. Often cats and cat idols were entombed in the burial chambers of the Pharaohs for the cat had a deep mystical significance to these pagan slave drivers.

Permitting your child to lie in a bed covered in Hello Kitty dolls, you are allowing her to lie in a mock Egyptian burial chamber! This seemingly harmless fascination with these dolls can lead your child down the path of the occult. The so-called “goth” teens who paint their faces to resemble corpses and worship death are also often seen with Hello Kitty memorabilia and stickers incongruously affixed to their usually black attire. This is because these poor, misguided youngsters who have given their eternal souls over to the darkness, know the masked meaning of these cuddly idols. The Hello Kitty, the ChocoCat, The Badtz Maru are just sugar coated stand-ins for Sekhmet, the Anubis and Ra. These are the same gods that The Lord cast down into the sulfur pit of hell and made into demons! Their power, which allowed Ramses to turn his staff into a serpent, cannot be underestimated today.

  • DaveS

    Fake. The answer betrays WAY too much knowledge of Egyptian mythology to have been an actual Fundamentalist Christian.

  • Finklebop Pinkleporkey III

    Love is…

  • Zero.Rock

    Amen, brother

  • dancing caveman

    These people don’t really have any fun in their lives, do they?

    And Snoopy is Anubis then, no?

  • Fact of the matter is, these ppl, fundamentalists – the taliban west or something, equally nazi, equally hateful, too scared to work outside the system and DO SOMETHING about what we absolutely should, provided we are irredeemably (sic) psychotic as well, think, believe, communicate, and sometimes do. I am reminded of my once having seen an army worm in the yard, standing in the grass, all green sections and gaping mouth, hissing abhorrently. Didn’t kill it, shoulda.

  • outeast

    Not just spoof – almost certainly viral marketing. A whois search shows the owner as ‘Brendan Burch’, who is likely the same Brendan Burch who runs an animation studio called Six Point Harness… Draw your own conclusions. (Of course, it could just be a coincidence of names – or the guy’s hobby. But I wouldn’t be surprised to see some SPH shows popping up there at some point.)

  • Jeremiah

    It is the name Brother Cletus that gives me reason to think it is satire.

  • Jeremiah

    But if you take a look at this site. Same level of design skill and also a brother cletus, could be the same person??? maybe

  • Theanderblast

    More proof of Hello Kitty’s evilness:

    • Anoymiss

      No!!! She/he/it has come to attack us!!!!!! Run for your lives!!!!

  • Yay, look upon me, and know me my children. I have returned to you so I may judge the living and the dead. Here’s how it goes. You are all alive, and people that are dead, are dead. Was that so hard? JESUS IS LORD! HE HAS SHOWN US THE WAY!

  • I think you all need to relax a little and enjoy life

  • Anoymiss

    Ok, I’m sick of this. Christianity is so strong it is affecting everyone’s lives. I may be only 11 but I have a lot more sense than “religious” cults. Why not just relax and enjoy life? Why say this and that is a sin? There is a ban in some places that you are not allowed to marry the same-sex. That is ridiculous. I’m straight but I believe that marraige is about love, not if you’re a man or a woman.
    I am also weary of people singing stuff like “God save us from this darkness evil”. What is the point of confessing your biggest sins? It’s better to forget them and get on with life. What’s with all this Satan of evil and almighty God?? Nobody can live a life without doing anything bad.
    Have you ever thought “If Jesus is immortal, where is he now?” People have been searching for Jesus who an do miracles and such. Have they found him yet? No.
    So people, I hope you know what I mean. Just be free and be with the ones you love.