Where’s Jesus?

Chris 52 Comments 1320 views

Jesus is on a doggy door in Yucaipa California.

Jesus is on a tree in Milwaukee.

Jesus is on a tree in Sussex.

Jesus is on a Samsung Flash memory chip.

Jesus is in a cloud over Mt. Sinai.

Jesus is atop mobile phone mast.

Jesus is on a Romanian wardrobe.

Jesus is on a dog’s ass.

Jesus is on a dental x-ray.

Jesus is on a piece of sheet metal.

Jesus is on a tree in California.

Jesus is on a tree in Florida.

Jesus is on a tree in New York.

Jesus is on a tree branch in Bosnia.

Jesus is on a tree in Memphis. (Elvis didn’t do no drugs!)

Jesus is on a pancake in Ohio.

Jesus is on Google Maps.

Jesus is on a mug stained with hot chocolate.

Jesus is on a shrimp tail.

Jesus is in a nacho pan.

Jesus is on a fish bone.

Jesus is on a water-stained piece of plaster in a bathroom.

Jesus is on a cracked window in Texas.

Jesus is on a cement floor.

Jesus is on a car windscreen.

Jesus is on a kitchen cabinet in Manchester.

Jesus is in a bowl of manicotti.

Jesus is on a Sydney train platform.

Jesus is on a fish stick.

Jesus is in an ashtray.

Jesus is on an XBox 360.

Jesus is on somebody’s head.

Jesus is on a fence in California.

Jesus is on an Easter egg.

Jesus is in an ultrasound.

Jesus is in a potato.

Jesus is in a tree stump.

Jesus is in the door.

Jesus is in an altar cloth.

Jesus is a Cheeto.

Jesus is a water stain on a window.

Jesus is on a spoon.

Jesus is a water mark on a hospital ceiling.

Jesus is in a slab of granite.

Jesus is in another ultrasound.

Jesus is in Spumoni.

Jesus is on a utility pole.

Jesus is another Cheeto.

Jesus is in cat fur.

Jesus is in a rusty sink.

Jesus is on a moth.

Jesus is on a weight loss center’s ceiling.

Jesus is in the drywall.

Jesus is in sea shells by the seashore.

Jesus is in a cloud.

Jesus is in a chocolate cookie.

Jesus is on a guitar.

Jesus is on a pita bread.

Jesus is on a floor tile.

Jesus is on a door in a car dealership.

Jesus is on a potato chip.

Jesus is in a rock on the side of a road in Alabama.

Jesus is on a church wall.

Jesus is on a broken meteroite.

Jesus is on a leaf.

Jesus is on a guitar.

Jesus is on a cheese toast.

Jesus is on an armchair.

Jesus is in a swimming pool.

Jesus is on a Greensboro sidewalk.

Jesus is on a kitchen cabinet in Wichita Falls.

Jesus is in Marmite. (Yeah, I didn’t know what Marmite was either)

Jesus is in a stained coffee mug.

Jesus is in a baking tray.

Jesus is in a rock.

Jesus is on a toilet seat.

Jesus is on Mars.

Jesus is on a factory wall in the Ukraine.

Jesus is in curtains.

Jesus is on a car window.

Jesus is on an iron.

Jesus is in a dog’s ear.

Jesus is in a bird shit stain.

Jesus is on a cross.

  • jen

    Jesus!

  • AeC

    Actually, I think that’s Kurt Cobain on the shrimp tail. Possibly Neil Young circa 1978.

  • AeC

    And I’m not sure where they see Jesus in the fish bone unless they’re saying Our Lord and Savior is in fact that prehistoric Klingon animal that Lt. Worf devolved into in that one episode of TNG.

    If they’re saying, on the other hand, that the visage of Jesus is in fact evident in Fishbone, well, I’ll happily follow Angelo Moore and Walter Kibby to the rapture, headbanging and pogoing the whole way.

  • Marlea

    Jesus wears number 12 and plays for the Patriots.

  • deepsea33

    Jesus in a bowl of spaghetti & meatballs.
    Oh wait, that’s just FSM.

  • crap

    Wow, some were silly but some were quite impressive.

  • DaveS

    The only thing that’s impressive is the human brain’s ability to recognize human face patterns.

    Only in the last decade or so has “That looks like a face, isn’t that odd?” has changed to “That’s the FACE OF JESUS! There’s MONEY to be made!”

  • DaveS

    So how does anyone actually know what Jesus looked like? Eh? He most certainly wasn’t the Euro-centric model that the Renaissance painters depicted him. The Shroud of Turin? That’s been unequivocally proven to be a fake.

    At least there are drawings of the FSM, made by the very people who invented him. Whomever invented Jesus left us no such indications.

  • Richard

    Jesus is on a fish stick is the title of my next CD!! How ironic!! 😉

  • Moon

    It’s “JUMPING Jesus on a Fish Stick!”, dammit!

    /I just wish Jesus would stop dicking around. If he wants to be seen, just show up already! Enough with BS on a fish stick, taco, etc.

  • Phundit

    Daves: Popular Mechanics tried to reconstruct the face of Jesus based on archaeological data and biblical description. It can’t be very accurate, but at least it feels more authentic than the western depiction. Anyway its an interesting read, plus you get some crazy comments to boot.

    http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/research/1282186.html

  • xaostica

    Jesus gets around like Santa.

  • Ian Richardson

    Jesus who?

  • Justin

    I like how in many stories, the sighting was backed up by a confirmation from a priest. As if that lends it any credibility.

    Phundit, you were right about the crazy comments on the Popular Mechanics article. They would be priceless if not so horrifying.

  • RonP

    Our golden retriever also left a “Jesus Image” on our doggy door. But over time, it began to look more like Satan. Sorry, no pics.

  • Jesus stencil (with his crown of thorns) …

  • You missed my very own Jesus Pancake. 🙂

  • Uap2VO 2008 aquarius horoscope july

  • zGhN0X Costco photo contest

  • Best Hey Zeus bumper sticker – in a gay part of atlanta, a guy had a sticker on his car, a JFC fish depicted, and inside the fish, the letters H O M O.

  • I think Jesus is just another Mexican migrant worker who’s died in misery amidst the plenty, or he could still be back on his sticks, only your coroner knows for sure.

  • born-again

    Jesus Christ is in Heaven.

  • FlamingAtheist

    Heaven? Wow, he’s in Loveland, Ohio!

  • gorckat

    French Fry Jesus! (via BA)

  • Marty
  • hedgehog

    Would you start an FSM sighting list? I don’t have a link but I can think of one in the smoke-trails behind a military jet…

  • hedgehog

    Oh, look, I can meet Christian girls for free.

    the ads around this blog entry are nearly as entertaining as the entry itself.

  • jesus

    cheese us
    say it fast
    i think i have decoded jesus

  • Stove

    This will be one of my favorite posts until the second coming of Christ or until the Sun explodes. Which ever comes first… wait a dang minute, I guess this post shows the second comings. So I guess it will be top of the list for another 500 million years or so.

    Chris, please be sure to bump this back to the top on Dec 25th.

  • Oh FSM. Mommy, I’m scared o_O

  • mikespeir

    Wonder why Jesus changes his looks so dramatically between appearances. To keep us guessing, no doubt.

  • justsmiling!

    LOL. I personally think that these Jesus sightings could easily be and alot of it probably is manmade suspicion. But, what does that have to do with proving or disproving Jesus? Everyones human, and as people we are easily supertitious.

  • Scott

    Here is another one for the loonies

    http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,25415645-5013016,00.html

    a frickin grill whilst being cleaned – you have got to be kidding! (this is virgin Mary, not her little boy).

  • Nietzsche

    Have you ever been to Disney World….. Geebus is a “FIGMENT” of your imagination. That’s the only place someone who’s been DEAD for 2,000 years can be!! If he’s coming back… where the f–k is he? Did he get lost on Uranus? Then he really isn’t much of a ghourd!

  • eva

    jesus is living everywhere. he is always near by us but, we don’t know that. if we submit our life to him he will surely guide us in the way of goodness… GOD BLESS YOU

  • J.H.M.

    Um, I think I saw at least one early Manson, not to mention a couple of John Lennons and several Rasputins…

  • Imelda

    I don’t know where Jesus is ?? I’ve looked everywhere and i can’t find HIM… He has turned his back on me …

  • meg

    the spoon jesus looks more like che guevara than jesus to me.

  • Si

    Hang on, you didn’t know what Marmite was?

  • Meg, you beat me to the punch. I kept seeing Che, not Jesus… a few of them look like Jerry Garcia… but that is the beauty of abstract art. And some of it is darn tasty as well. This is my Cheeto, this is my body…

  • Stove

    I’ve been using “Jesus Christ on a pita” as my cuss phrase of choice since I first read the original post.

  • Susan

    I’m so glad they finally found him. They’ve been searching for him for years! Every so often they come to my house and ask, “Have you found Jesus?”

  • Wodanaz

    Jesus is every. Why couldn’t the bugger just stay dead like the rest of us?

  • Grant N

    Anything with that kind of image in something that was burnt, is definitely more likely a stoner from the 70’s. Cheech Marin comes to mind.

  • Anony Muss

    i get a distinct Rasputeen vibe from that moth on page 6

  • ShanghaiJohnnyP

    “Jesus Es En Tijuana!!Madre De Dios!!”
    -Paul Rodriguez:”Born In East LA”.
    “DEar Little Six Pound,Eight Ounce Baby Jesus:
    I Just Want To Thank You For Our Meal Of Coca Cola;KFC;Taco Bell and Wonder Bread.
    Also,Dear Little Baby Jesus,I Want To Thank You For My Smokin’Hot Wife Carly;My Best Friend
    and Racing Partner Cal Naughton,Junior..”.
    “Shake and Bake Ricky!!”.
    “Shake and Bake Cal!!Also Little Baby Jesus,
    I Just Want To Thank You For My Two Beautiful Little Boys Walker and Texas Ranger!!”
    -Will Ferrell,John C.Reilly:”Talladega Nights:
    The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”.

  • Liz

    Marmite!
    if it was vegemite i could believe it

  • Pete
  • nazani

    Some of these are obviously Che Guevara.

  • Chip

    How come Jesus is the only deity anyone ever finds in their food products? Have the Greek and Norse Gods abandoned us completely?

  • fay

    I saw the fish bones in real is realy true.

  • meg

    i do believe dat jesus is everywhere…