Why He Won’t Vote For Obama

From the Henry Daily Herald (someplace in Georgia) comes this article about why the reporter won’t vote for Obama.

After about five questions from different television and newspaper reporters, I stood up to ask mine.

“Wait a minute son, this is for professional media only,” Obama said to me.

“What do you mean? I work for the local paper,” I said with a crackling nervous voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were a college student. You have such a baby face,” he said with an unremorseful grin.

At that point everyone in the room turned to look at me and laugh. The 800 people in the lobby laughed as my face was projected on the big screen.

Remembered that girl who I was trying to get with, well she was sitting next to me and guess what she was doing?

Everyone was laughing except me.

The next time I saw that young lady was at another press conference, but this time she was acting as if she never knew me. I think I saw her maybe two more times and each time, it was the cold shoulder.

Thanks to everyone’s favorite new senator, I lost big time.

Obama owes me a public apology for making me look like a court jester and for blocking my shot.

Until that time, Hillary or Giuliani will get my vote.

(via Bookslut)

Is Sex With an Animal Carcass a Crime?

From the Smoking Gun:

Meet Bryan James Hathaway, alleged venison lover. The Wisconsin man, 20, is facing charges that he had sex last month with a dead deer. Hathaway, who previously has served time for killing a horse he intended to sexually assault, allegedly found the deer in a ditch alongside a roadway. Now Hathaway’s lawyer has filed a court motion (a copy of which you’ll find here) arguing that since the animal was already dead, Hathaway should not face a misdemeanor rap of sexual gratification with an animal.

The court motion includes a quote from The Princess Bride:

In addition, defining animal to include carcasses would lead to absurd results. At what point of decompose would the carcass cease being an animal? Would picked-over skeletal remains still meet the definition? At death, an animal ceases to be an animal. As Billy Crystal noted in The Princess Bride (1987), “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.”

Physicist Attempts to Send Signal Backwards in Time

If successful he would receive the signal before he sends it.

If his experiment with splitting photons actually works, says University of Washington physicist John Cramer, the next step will be to test for quantum “retrocausality.”

That’s science talk for saying he hopes to find evidence of a photon going backward in time.

“It doesn’t seem like it should work, but on the other hand, I can’t see what would prevent it from working,” Cramer said. “If it does work, you could receive the signal 50 microseconds before you send it.”

(via reddit)