The Race for Junior-Class Vice President Goes Negative

From McSweeney‘s:

The video opens on a handwritten note with several sentences highlighted and the same sentences in printed text on the screen below it:

It seems that Mary Zwerdling has been paying attention to more than just trigonometry in third period. In a top-secret note that Mary recently attempted to pass to another student in the class, she wrote, “Adam Toll gave me a hickey the other day. He’s so cute, but I don’t know if I like him like him, or if I just like him.” Mary Zwerdling gets a hickey and then can’t decide whether she likes the guy who gave it to her? Is this the kind of indecisiveness we want in our junior-class vice president? Dan Lettich has been dating his girlfriend for four whole months. That’s the kind of decisiveness and stability we need in a leader.

I’m Dan Lettich, and I approved this message.