Get Cynical

RadioShack Corp. notified about 400 workers by e-mail that they were being dismissed immediately as part of planned job cuts.

Employees at the Fort Worth headquarters got messages Tuesday morning saying: “The work force reduction notification is currently in progress. Unfortunately your position is one that has been eliminated.”

Company officials had told employees in a series of meetings that layoff notices would be delivered electronically, spokeswoman Kay Jackson said. She said employees were invited to ask questions before Tuesday’s notification on a company intranet site.

BUSH: Well those are two different questions, did we fight the wrong war, and absolutely — I have no doubt — the war came to our shores, remember that. We had a foreign policy that basically said, let’s hope calm works. And we were attacked.

WILLIAMS: But those weren’t Iraqis.

BUSH : They weren’t, no, I agree, they weren’t Iraqis, nor did I ever say Iraq ordered that attack, but they’re a part of, Iraq is part of the struggle against the terrorists. Now in terms of image, of course I worry about American image. We are great at TV, and yet we are getting crushed on the PR front. I personally do not believe that Saddam Hussein picked up the phone and said, “al-Qaida, attack America.”

A PRIEST has died after trying to demonstrate how Jesus walked on water.

Evangelist preacher Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle.

But he drowned after walking out to sea from a beach in the capital Libreville in Gabon, west Africa.

One eyewitness said: “He told churchgoers he’d had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus.

“He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat.

“He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back.”

Well, it was fun while it lasted. I kind of enjoyed believing that the saga of lonelygirl15 and danielbeast was the real deal. Having directed a faux documentary myself, I always enjoy seeing people do new things with the form — especially if I can’t tell whether I’m being played or not.

But on August 15, the Bree and Daniel show jumped the shark. The producers just tried too hard to get across exposition and weren’t clever enough about presenting it with veracity. This one episode pretty much destroys the entire series, at least in the actually-trying-to-fool-you mock-doc genre. Now I wonder why I ever believed.

What the hell am I talking about? Oh, you must not be addicted to YouTube yet. I’m talking about Bree, aka lonelygirl15, who has been telling her story on YouTube since mid-June. Her videos have more than one million views.

Here’s the story:

For days I’ve been slogging through a rain-soaked jungle in Indonesian New Guinea, on a quest to visit members of the Korowai tribe, among the last people on earth to practice cannibalism. Soon after first light this morning I boarded a pirogue, a canoe hacked out of a tree trunk, for the last stage of the journey, along the twisting Ndeiram Kabur River. Now the four paddlers bend their backs with vigor, knowing we will soon make camp for the night.

My guide, Kornelius Kembaren, has traveled among the Korowai for 13 years. But even he has never been this far upriver, because, he says, some Korowai threaten to kill outsiders who enter their territory. Some clans are said to fear those of us with pale skin, and Kembaren says many Korowai have never laid eyes on a white person. They call outsiders laleo (“ghost-demons”).

Suddenly, screams erupt from around the bend. Moments later, I see a throng of naked men brandishing bows and arrows on the riverbank. Kembaren murmurs to the boatmen to stop paddling. “They’re ordering us to come to their side of the river,” he whispers to me. “It looks bad, but we can’t escape. They’d quickly catch us if we tried.”

Europe’s “Christian values” should be enshrined in a new version of the EU constitution, the German chancellor declared yesterday after meeting the Pope.

In remarks which will reopen the debate on religion in the EU, Angela Merkel threw her weight behind Pope Benedict’s campaign to recognise Europe’s Christian heritage. “We spoke about freedom of religion,” she said after talks at the Pope’s summer residence near Rome. “We spoke about the role of Europe and I emphasised the need for a constitution and that it should refer to our Christian values.”

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Now, I don’t mean to pick on Harris — my annoyance with her candidacy is quickly turning to pity — but this argument comes up from time to time. Usually it’s phrased a little more articulately, but particularly among far-right conservatives, the notion that our laws “originated” from the Ten Commandments is very popular. And very wrong.

You don’t need to be a constitutional scholar or have a doctorate in history to debunk the claim — you just need to look at the Commandments themselves. If the “basis” of our laws “originated” from the Decalogue, it’d be pretty obvious — we could look at the Ten Commandments and see how similar they are to our legal traditions.

The reality, of course, is that the opposite happens.

* The Commandments say people shall not worship false gods. Any laws against this? Strike one.

* The Commandments say people shall not make graven images. Any laws against this? Strike two.

* The Commandments say people shall not take the name of the Lord in vain. Any laws against this? Strike three.

* The Commandments say people must honor a Sabbath day. Any laws mandating this? Strike four.

* The Commandments say people must honor their parents. Any laws mandating this? Strike five.

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