Get Cynical

1) Should women who abort get life sentences in prison and/or the death penalty?

2) If a woman’s husband knows she is aborting, should he be charged as an accessory to murder?

3) How about her friends who know?

4) Should abortion doctors receive life sentences in prison and/or the death penalty?

5) If a woman smokes during her pregnancy and the fetus dies as a result, should she be charged with murder?

WASHINGTON — When President Bush signed the reauthorization of the USA Patriot Act this month, he included an addendum saying that he did not feel obliged to obey requirements that he inform Congress about how the FBI was using the act’s expanded police powers.

1063: King Béla I of Hungary died when his tall wooden throne collapsed due to sabotage.

1541: George Friar, Governor of Transylvania, was assassinated but his body was not discovered in his room until half a year later, as people thought he simply retracted to some months of hermit-hood.

1543: Pedro de Valdivia, a dreaded conquistador, was captured by Native Americans and executed by pouring molten gold down his throat to satisfy his thirst for treasures.

1953: Frank Hayes, jockey, suffered a heart attack during a horse race. The horse, Sweet Kiss, went on to finish first, making Hayes the only deceased jockey to win a race.

Here’s a prank that definitely rates as one of the more inventive (and cruel) student pranks of recent years. The set-up occurred a week before a NCAA game pitting UC Berkeley against the University of Southern California. USC’s starting guard, Gabe Pruitt (pictured), met a UCLA coed named Victoria online. They traded messages via AOL Instant Messenger. She sent him her picture. He sent her his. They arranged to meet after the game on March 4.

The sinker occurred during the March 4th game. When Pruitt appeared on the court, UC fans started to chant “VIC-TOR-IA, VIC-TOR-IA.” Their chants continued throughout the game, escalating to include the recitation of Pruitt’s phone number. Transcripts of Pruitt’s IM chats with “Victoria” were also circulated throughout the crowd (including classic lines such as “You look like you have a very fit body… Now I want to c u so bad”). Pruitt was visibly shocked, missed a bunch of free throws, and ended up 3-for-13 from the field.