I can hear some of you now. “Blasphemous!” “Scandalous!” But hold on there, bucko! What if we discover some new way to serve communion wafers that brings people stampeding back to the church as if it were some chic new restaurant on the lower east side? Uh huh, you didn’t think of that, did you? We thought not.
In a related story, when I was getting ready for my first communion, our teacher, Sister Mary, told us that if we bit the Eucharist that blood would come squirting out into our mouth. Needless to say that when the time came to take the communion, just about all of us bit into it to see if we could get the wafer to hemorrhage. The lesson we learned? Even a nun could be a lying bitch.