This is an old Fark thread that is making the rounds again.
One man’s plan to turn orange by eating carrots.
I’m driving down the road thinking about absolutely nothing. All of a sudden, BAM!! An idea hits me like a pound a bricks. Passing motorists mistake this as a cursory head banging. I need to find out if this whole, “turn yourself orange” thing works. Ideas start forming in my head, necessitating more head rocking. I know what I need to do, I need to consume enough carrots to turn myself orange!
We had nothing better to do last weekend so we went out and bought a TiVo unit. Two things immediately went through my head as I was setting it up.
1. My television viewing has finally entered the twenty-first century. Hooray.
2. WTF? I need a phone line to set this junk up?
TiVo needs a way to update its software and download the data it needs for you to record your programs. It can use an internet connection which is how I planned to use it or a phone line. I happened to have a wireless network adapter which worked with the system and can connect to my network at home which would have worked out fine except for some reason TiVo needs a phone line for its initial setup. This is a bit of a problem if you are like me and don’t have a phone line. Ms. Cynical travels often for work so a cell is essential and I just find a cellphone much more convenient so we have never had the need for a landline. I went to TiVo’s website quite sure that there was a workaround for this setback and found out that if you don’t have a phone line, TiVo suggests that you take the box to a place that does for the initial setup. Sigh.
Off I went to my uncle’s house with my TiVo unit underneath one arm.
“The wave of the future!”, I boasted to him as I unveiled the TiVo.
“Still dependent on 19th century technology,” he observed as I plugged the unit into his phonejack.
Every one was scared shitless, and Bush was quite soused
The indictments were hanging like Damoceles’ sword
As verminous oxen prepared to be gored
The perps were all sleepless, curled fetal in bed
While visions of prison cells loomed in each head
And Dick in his jammies, and George in his lap
Were sweating and swearing and looking like crap
When out on the web there arose such a clatter
The blogs and the forums were buzzing with chatter
Away to the PC Rove ran like a flash
He booted his browser and cleared out his cache
The rumors that flew through the cold autumn air
Made Dubya shiver with angry despair
When what to his horror-filled eyes did he spy?
A bespectacled man with a brown suit and tie!
(via One Good Move)
Let me amend my previous statement. This game is so addictive it should have a surgeon general’s warning on it. 1500 has become my 2 minute mile.
And we’re not just talking haute cuisine; any meal can be a MealMe meal. Five-star dining, your local food court or the hotdog stand at the corner; if it’s worth your time, it’s worth a picture, and we want to know about it.