Get Cynical

A new study found that male monkeys will give up their juice rewards in order to ogle pictures of female monkey’s bottoms. The way the experiment was set up, the act is akin to paying for the images, the researchers say.

The rhesus macaque monkeys also splurged on photos of top-dog counterparts, the high-ranking primates. Maybe that’s like you or me buying People magazine.

The research, which will be detailed in the March issue of Current Biology, gets more interesting.

The scientists actually had to pay these guys, in the form of extra juice, to get them to look at images of lower-ranking monkeys.

Curiously, the monkeys in the test hadn’t had any direct physical contact with the monkeys in the photos, so they didn’t have personal experience with who was hot and who was not.

The nation’s first ever mass wedding of its
kind….

On September 29, 2005, 10 unmarried couples
w/children will be married during a landmark
event called Marry Your Baby Daddy Day. The
FREE mass wedding will be officiated by the
acclaimed Dr. Rev. Herbert Daughtry in
Brooklyn, NY. Celebrity wedding dress
designers, vendors and wedding planners have
signed up to make this a very memorable and
important moment in the lives of 10 loving,
fantastic couples! Several celebrity VIP figures
will be among the distinguished guests.

Visions of Science is a photographic awards scheme organised by Novartis Pharmaceuticals to encourage ongoing discussion about science.

So, what is a Vision of Science? To the judges of the Awards, a Vision of Science is an attention-grabbing image that gives new insight into the world of science and the workings of nature. It may show something never seen before, it may explain a scientific phenomenon, it may illustrate scientific data or it may simply be an image that shows the beauty of science.

COLONIE — There’s a new drinking policy at Siena College.

No drinking.

Of anything.

Even water. Or iced tea. Or coffee, Red Bull or lemonade. Or vodka or beer, for that matter, in case anybody gets any bright ideas.

According to a policy dated Sept. 17, students are “no longer allowed to consume alcohol or any other beverage in any type of container outside of their townhouse or in any public area on campus.”

College officials maintain the rule is meant to increase security after a spate of off-campus party crashers showed up early this semester, and police responded to noisy gatherings outside student apartments. Some outsiders were arrested for burglarizing apartments during those parties, using the hurly-burly for cover.

Because students weren’t abiding by campus rules to register all outside guests, officials decided they had to crack down to reduce the gatherings. “Safety first, that’s what it’s all about,” Siena spokeswoman Janet Gianopoulos said.

But does the new policy also mean a person who buys a Pepsi in a vending machine on the Loudonville campus and opens it on one of the lush quads is breaking the rules?

Yes, Gianopoulos said. But they can crack open that drink once they reach their residence, she added.

In the great pantheon of contractual obligation records, there is the noisy (Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music), the brassy (Neil Young’s This Note’s For You) and the phony (Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Record).

And then there is Van Morrison’s Bang Records Sessions.

In order to fulfill his obligation to his early solo label Bang Records,Van Morrison sat down in 1967 or so and cranked out 31 songs on the spot, on topics ranging from ringworm to wanting a danish, to hating his record label and a guy named George. Make sure you get past the first few tunes – it takes him a few to get cooking.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

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