Get Cynical

“The designers of some elevators include a hidden feature that is very handy if you’re in a hurry
or it’s a busy time in the building (like check-out time in a hotel). While some elevators require
a key, others can be put into “Express” mode by pressing the “Door Close” and “Floor” buttons at
the same time. This sweeps the car to the floor of your choice and avoids stops at any other floor.

abracadabra While the actual origin of the word is uncertain, it has been said that it was the name of the supreme deity of the Assyrians, but it may also be an Aramaic phrase. It is a magical word often appearing on amulets, and was first mentioned by the third-century physician Quintus Severus Sammondicus. It is often seen in the configuration of a diminishing triangle:

A B R A C A D A B R A
A B R A C A D A B R
A B R A C A D A B
A B R A C A D A
A B R A C A D
A B R A C A
A B R A C
A B R A
A B R
A B
A

It was believed that certain evils would diminish and vanish in the same way the word did. The word was often used by conjurors as an exclamation at the culmination of a trick. Now not so often employed, and in any case totally ineffective.

My theory: this joke didn’t exist before circa 2001. The actualy joke, really, is that they’re making up this dirty joke, having a hundred comedians tell it, and billing it as a documentary with historical significance.

Right now, I have two pieces of, well let’s charitably call it evidence. First, Penn Jillette. If anyone was going to make up a dirty joke, then fool millions of people into thinking it’s a super-secret comedian thing, it would be Jillette. Secondly, I can’t find any evidence that it was posted to the Web or any other section of the Internet before 2001.