Stair Diving

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I think if there were more people like this guy, there would be less people like this guy.

You may be asking yourself what the point is there to diving or falling intentionally down a flight of stairs. The simple answer is that there is no point, that one throws themselves down a flight of stairs simply to entertain others. A good laugh from a crowd can be an exhilarating moment. The longer answer is that there are some deep philosophical reasons behind this seemingly pointless act of madness. Nothing illustrates better the Zen principles of cause and effect than a controlled plunge down a staircase. One’s clarity of mind while in motion is almost soothing, completely transfixed on the moment. Afterwards, the pain reminds one of their humanity and the how ethereal our bodies truly are.

Dear President Bush

I think this is pretty old but I haven’t seen it in a long time so it is worth posting.

Dear President Bush:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said, “in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman.” I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

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1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this law applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

Etc.

U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Superbowl

HA!

“No one who lived through that day is likely to forget the horror,” said noted child therapist Dr. Eli Wasserbaum. “But it was especially hard on the children.”

The tragic wardrobe malfunction occurred approximately 360 days ago, during Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake’s performance of “Rock Your Body,” when Timberlake tore Jackson’s costume, accidentally revealing her right breast.

“By the time CBS cut to an aerial view of the stadium, the damage was done,” said Wasserbaum, who has also worked extensively with orphaned and amputee children in Third World war zones. “I’ve found that children can be amazingly resilient, but this event was too much for many of them to take. The horrible image of that breast is likely to haunt them for the rest of their lives.”

According to the 500-page report filed by the FCC, more than 90 percent of the children who saw the exposed breast said they were “confused and afraid.”

“Mommy has dirty chest bumps,” said a 5-year-old boy quoted in one of the thousands of case studies compiled by the FCC. “She’s like the bad lady on TV. I’m afraid Mommy will take off her shirt and scare everyone. I hate Mommy.”