Things To Do Before The Inaugural

Classic. Here are the top 5.

1. Get that abortion you’ve always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.


  1. He forgot:

    Put in your application for one of the last 3 programming jobs in America.

    Re the “Visit Massachusetts…” one, I remember Ron Zigler joshing after the ’72 election (when Mass was the only state to vote for McGoo)

    “We don’t have any hard feelings towards Massachusetts. In fact, I’m authorized to announce a new Federal project – we’re going to build a nuclear waste disposal facility in Harvard Square.”

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