Saturday Night Live Transcripts

Featuring 2,488 transcripts from “Saturday Night Live”

Like the little chocolate donuts skit.

[ open to John Belushi preparing to do the Olympic high jump ]

Announcer: John Belushi is on his way to a gold medal in the Decathlon! They’re setting the bar at seven feet – here’s his approach..

[ John Belushi runs toward the bar. Quick cut to John jumping over the top of the bar. Quick cut to John landing on the grass. ]

Announcer: He got it! Belushi’s won the gold, now he’s going for the world’s record!

[ cut to John Belushi running long-distance sprint and winning, as his fans crowd around him ] [ cut to John at home ]

John Belushi: [ seated at breakfast table smoking a cigarette ] I logged a lot of miles training for that day. And I downed a lot of doughnuts. Little Chocolate Donuts. They taste good, and they’ve got the sugar I need to get me going in the morning. That’s why Little Chocolate Donuts have been on my training table since I was a kid.

[ cut to John Belushi going for the gold in the javelin toss ]

Announcer: Little Chocolate Donuts. The donuts of champions.

World Sunlight Map

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Known as a rectangular projection, this map is one way of looking at the spherical Earth as a flat map. Both the size of continents and their shape get distorted as you move away from the equator. Compare this with a Mercator projection, which greatly distorts sizes in favor of keeping the shapes correct, or a Peters projection which distorts shapes but gives a true indication of relative size.

Tin Foil Hats

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I am buying The Dapper.

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