Get Cynical

I love these.

• All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
• I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was
  locking the front door. I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He
  said, “Yes, but not in a row.”

• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier…I put them in the same
  room and let them fight it out.